Abuse is never your fault. Physical abuse, sexual abuse, mental abuse, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, spiritual abuse- any kind of abuse, anything defined as abuse, any abuse that happens to you is never your fault. Abuse is also never justified. To anyone who has not experienced abuse in their life this seems like common sense. Why would anyone deserve to be abused? How could one person think that abusing another person is justified? Personal perceptions of punishment might skew someone’s idea of what abuse is and why someone might be at fault for the behaviors which come their way. However, they are at a misunderstanding because abuse is never justified or your fault. Anyone else can see this simple fact clear as day. Survivors of abuse, who may be living with PTSD or other manifestations of trauma, this can be a fact belonging to an entirely different reality, one which they do not feel they can grasp.
Abuse and abusive relationships follow specific and common patterns. One of the most evident patterns of abuse is when someone being abused not just thinks, but is completely convinced that the abuse they endure is somehow deserved and that their abuser’s actions are justified. Why? Whatever causes the abuse, whatever it is that someone being abused cannot do to stop the abuse or change the abuser, is completely their fault. Abuse is never your fault, no matter what you do, who you are, or how you behave. Abuse is a choice made on behalf of the abuser. When someone chooses to abuse, the action of abuse is their responsibility and their responsibility alone. Abuse is never your fault.
Why Do We Believe Abuse Is Our Fault?
The reason people abuse is complex. Most simply described, people abuse because they were abused in some way and learned abusive behaviors. More importantly, people who are abused learn a false fact from their abusers: that abuse is okay. Part of abuse is mentally rearranging the way someone sees themselves, their abusers, and the abuse happening to them. For example, an abuser cannot be seen as an abuser if the person they are abusing does not see behavior as abuse, or their abuser as an abuser. If a mother repeatedly hits her child telling her child they are “bad” for whatever reasons, eventually the child makes an association: I am bad and because I am bad, my mother hits me. If I were good, my mother wouldn’t hit me. Abusers create a mental trap for those they are abusing, like a snare trap. Every time someone being abused steps into the snare, they are caught and paralyzed- precisely where an abuser can execute their abuse without resistance. Creating the mindset of deserving abuse or justifying abuse forever keeps victims of abuse in that snare trap. Until, that is, they learn to break free.
You can break free from the toxic bonds of abuse and the effects of trauma. Healing is possible. The Guest House Ocala offers private residential treatment programs for trauma, addictions, mental illness, and other manifestations of trauma. Everyone has a story. Nobody is alone in their experience. Call us today for information: 1-855-483-7800