Codependency is a broad term that is often recognized in unstable relationships, especially when addiction and mental health issues are present. People who have dysfunctional families tend to take this behavioral condition into their other relationships without even realizing it. Healthy relationships can be sabotaged by the emotional and behavioral issues that are caused by codependency.
Being codependent is often misunderstood. Until the definition becomes clearer, codependency can keep families from healing. If you think you might be codependent, here are some clear-cut indicators to help you see the truth.
You are a people-pleaser
One of the things you will avoid at all costs is confrontation. You avoid confrontation so much that you say “yes” to everything to keep from feeling uncomfortable. Your goal is to take care of everyone else before you take care of yourself. Later, you become resentful at all the work you have to do.
You enable your loved one
Instead of getting help for a loved one regarding their addiction or trauma, you allow them to keep doing what they are doing because you feel bad for them. You will also go to any lengths to keep an addicted person protected. This protection may include lying for them, so they do not go to jail or lose their job. Rather than letting them hit their bottom, you help them appear functional. Unfortunately, this isn’t actually helping the person. It just allows them to avoid treatment and recovery for a while longer.
You know no boundaries
Setting boundaries is part of any healthy relationship. Your first instinct may be to scrap your boundaries at the first sign of conflict so that everything can be amicable. Without a commitment to protecting yourself, you will continue to let people walk all over you just to keep the peace. Do not be afraid to stick to your boundaries because they are essential tools that keep everyone in check.
If you are exhibiting any of these behaviors, you should seek to gain an understanding of how to break the codependency cycle. Even though you are merely trying to help with good intentions, you are really only keeping your loved one from their recovery – and yours. You no longer have to suffer from their addiction and pain. There is so much to live for beyond playing concierge to addicted people.
At The Guest House Ocala, our recovery programs include many experiential modalities including traditional therapy, conscious connected breathwork, equine therapy, somatic experiencing, art in healing, grief therapy, mindfulness, and other forms of therapy.
Call 855-483-7800 today for more information.