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How Are We Impacted by Abandonment?

Among the different kinds of trauma we experience, the ways in which we’re abandoned can have some of the most painful effects on us. When someone we love and look up to abandons us, we lose our sense of security and stability. We lose our ability to feel grounded and centered within ourselves. Feeling abandoned can cause us to struggle with feelings of hopelessness and depression. We fear that having been abandoned means we are somehow to blame for how we were treated. We take it to mean that we’re inherently unworthy, that we’re not good enough, that we were abandoned for a reason. We struggle in our relationships, not knowing how to open up to other people and how to let our guard down. We’re afraid to trust people. We’re afraid to be vulnerable. We’re afraid that if we let people in too close, they’ll just abandon us. We experience issues that damage our relationships – envy, competitiveness, jealousy and possessiveness, all stemming from our fear of abandonment.

We tend to attract relationships as adults that resemble and mirror our childhood experiences. When we fear abandonment, we often will attract people who make us feel abandoned and who wind up abandoning us. We’re so deeply afraid of abandonment that we often don’t realize we’re manifesting more of the same. We’re creating more abandonment in our lives, more pain and more grief because we’ve been so consumed by our fear.

We’re impacted by the initial hurt of being abandoned in multiple ways, influencing not only our romantic relationships and friendships, but also, and most importantly, our relationship with ourselves. We struggle with our sense of self-worth. We feel inadequate and inferior to other people. We feel unworthy. We feel deeply sad when we compare ourselves to other people and feel as though we don’t measure up. Our already low self-esteem suffers, and we struggle to feel any sense of confidence. Our self-worth is so low we hurt ourselves, through self-harming, through abusive relationships, through the self-destruction of addiction. We develop depression, anxiety, panic attacks and other severe mental health issues, all stemming from the lack of security we feel from having been abandoned. When our childhoods lacked a foundation of love, when we didn’t feel nurtured and protected by the people responsible for caring for us, we can feel lost for many years later, hopeless, brokenhearted, and empty. We can struggle to know ourselves and to find our purpose.

Part of our work in recovery is examining the ways in which we’ve been impacted by our trauma and then working to undo the damage with healing, personal transformation and unconditional self-love.

At The Guest House Ocala, our recovery programs include many experiential modalities including traditional therapy, conscious connected breathwork, equine therapy, somatic experiencing, art in healing, grief therapy, mindfulness and other forms of therapy. Call 855-483-7800 today for more information.