Imagine not being able to relax your whole life, living day to day desperately wishing you could just relax. You’ve tried everything in your power you possibly can to just let it all go and not have a care in the world. It never works. Relaxation becomes a new stress in your life because you can’t relax and that is causing you stress. You’ve looked for all the usual suspects: food, diet, exercise, meditation, even sex, intimacy, activity, entertainment, and much more. You haven’t looked one place: your past and the trauma history which lives there.
The complex manifestations of trauma are never surprising to trauma therapists and treatment practitioners but can be especially shocking to those who are working to recover from trauma. A therapist might slyly suggest, “Have you considered the fact that you don’t want to relax? Or maybe you are preventing yourself from relaxing?” Of course I want to relax, the patient responds. Why wouldn’t I want to relax? Everyone wants to relax. How could anyone prevent themselves from relaxing. Trauma is incredibly complex.
To start relaxing in trauma recovery, you have to examine your relationship with relaxation. Were you allowed to relax in your childhood? What messages were you given about relaxation? Was there punishment for “relaxing”? Did you learn relaxing to be equated to laziness? Was your environment so stressful that you couldn’t relax? Were you taught how to relax? Did the adults in your life take time to relax in healthy ways?
Once you gain an understanding of your relationship to relaxation you can unravel the stories attached to it. If you learned that relaxation is laziness, you can now rewrite that story. If you learned never to relax, you can now teach yourself that it is okay and safe to relax at times. With your therapist, you will examine the cognitive-behavioral connections which need to be rewritten.
Next, you’ll look at your personal understanding of relaxation. Have you ever felt truly relaxed? What do you think relaxation looks and feels like? Can you think of any activities which help you feel relaxed? What do you think would be the most ideal relaxing situation you could find yourself in?
As you start to answer these questions, you’ll start to relax just by the idea that relaxation is obtainable for you. In our next QA, we’ll discuss how you can relax more often.
At The Guest House Ocala, we welcome everyone who has experienced trauma and, as a result, is suffering from addictions, mental health disorders, or other manifestations. Our programs are custom tailored to the specific experiences and needs of each client. Everyone has a story. Change yours today. Call us at Call 1-855-483-7800.