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letting go of judgement

Judgement can control our lives and is heavily linked to our fears. Whether these are fears of rejection, failure, intimacy, or of not being good enough, we sometimes cloak them in judgement as a form of protection.

Unfortunately, this creates a barrier between us and others and restricts our ability to lead happy and peaceful lives. Judgement hinders our ability to connect with others and feel fulfilled in our relationships.

It makes it difficult to discover who we truly are, as most of our thoughts and emotions are obstructed. Daily interactions and tasks can be made much more frustrating when we remain on a foundation of judgement.

So how can we break out of this mindset?

 

Training the Mind

If we have spent most of our lives believing heavily on our opinions and judgements, changing the way we think is quite the task. Like many things in life, it takes practice.

The best first step is to introduce mindfulness into your meditation or thought process. Begin to simply notice when your mind is leaning towards judgement.

When a thought or criticism comes to mind, recognize the judgement and acknowledge it. Over time, you will find that you can distinguish between fact and judgement in your thoughts.

The next step to this process is to analyze the meaning behind the judgement. For example, if you have an opinion on someone else’s behavior, there are two ways to approach your judgment. 

 

Take a step back and first consider their circumstances. Maybe their behavior is due to something going on in their lives. Consider their journey and the things you have in common with them.

Perhaps their insecurities appear differently than yours, or their journey to this moment has been a challenging one and so their actions are a reflection of that. Start to practice empathy.

Another aspect to address is to interpret how this judgment represents your fears. Does this thought or opinion stem from my own fear of rejection?

Did it make me feel inferior? Am I in fear of being not good enough, or being different? Before you respond in judgment, do a bit of introspection to see if your thoughts are possibly being affected by your own uncertainty.

 

Try A Positive Spin

Analyzing your judgments doesn’t have to be a negative experience. Reflection upon your thoughts doesn’t need to make you feel worse about yourself.

Incorporate some validation towards yourself and others. Work in some compassion. In judgment towards yourself, when you notice the thought, turn it to something progressive instead of punishing.

If the idea that you aren’t good enough or worthy comes up, remind yourself that you are learning and growing every day. Change takes time and effort, and you are doing your best. Remind yourself of everything you have overcome to reach this moment, and recognize what an accomplishment that is!

In terms of judgement towards others, look for gratitude. Admire the journeys of others and respect their struggles. Change thoughts of criticism to thoughts of reverence and appreciation. Work hard to avoid comparing yourself to others, in positive or negative ways. Be grateful for the life you have and praise yourself and others for the incredible journey you are on as humans. We are all growing, changing, and learning every day, and it is a beautiful thing!

 

At The Guest House Ocala, we have personal recovery experience and over 12 years in the recovery industry. We have helped countless people recover, and we’re here to help you too. Call 855-483-7800 today for more information.