Over the years we’ve grown dependent on our drugs of choice to help us cope with the relationship issues in our lives. We’ve turned to addictive substances and behaviors to numb the most difficult thoughts and feelings associated with the painful relationship problems we’re experiencing. As we’re working to recover, we realize that not only do these addictive patterns keep us from healing the relationship issues, they actually can compound and exacerbate them. They can add additional layers of pain, and more issues to resolve. Our tendencies toward avoidance, denial and emotional suppression often center around our fears – fears of confrontation, fears of losing the people we care about, fears of being judged and rejected. Our fears drive us away from the resolution and deeper into the problem. How can we resolve our relationship issues without our drugs of choice?
The answer to this, for many of us, lies in facing our fears head-on and confronting them rather than continuing to try and escape them. Our addictions are often rooted in the fears we’re having a hard time addressing and coming to terms with. In this case, our relationship fears are keeping us trapped in our addictions, our cycles of self-destructiveness. We consistently return to our drugs of choice because we’re self-consciously self-sabotaging and self-harming because of our history of emotional trauma and our lack of self-love. Learning to solve our relationship problems means confronting our fears head-on.
Let’s take the relationships that are most troubling and triggering for you, the ones that most make you want to retreat to your drug of choice to cope. What things are bothering you the most about this relationship? What thoughts, feelings, and memories are coming up for you? How does this person make you feel? How do these issues make you feel? What is the problematic history in the relationship? What have been your attempts at resolving the issue? What has helped and what hasn’t?
Try working with a therapist or spiritual guide to help you navigate your emotions around these answers. Use writing or other forms of therapeutic release to help you let go of some of the energy around these issues that have accumulated within you. When it comes to our relationship issues, we can’t find resolutions until we’re able to be at peace within ourselves about them. The more stable, centered, and grounded we feel within ourselves, the more we create the energetic space for solutions to come to us. As we cultivate inner peace and calm, both within ourselves and surrounding these issues, we extend that peace to our relationships and they naturally benefit. We gain more clarity and insight, and we allow ourselves to more naturally arrive at solutions and conclusions to help us in our relationships.
Are you ready to take the first step on your journey to recovery? Call The Guest House today! 855-483-7800.