In our previous blog post, we discussed the pain and broken heart of living with a parent who fails to meet our simple expectations. Parents have perhaps the largest influence on our lives, which impacts our emotional, psychological, physical, and even spiritual selves. Mourning the losses of our ideal parent, what happened to us as a result of the parent we had, and the childhood we will never be able to “get back” with a different parent is a process. Grief is never easy, but we are able to let go of the past by working with our trauma therapist in our trauma treatment program. Commonly, our trauma therapist will ask us to describe in great detail our ideal parent, who they would be, how they would act, and what they would do to love us. Accepting the position, we become this best parent for ourselves and continue to be this parent for ourselves throughout our recovery.
Our ideal parent might have…
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- Included us in their hobbies, passions, activities, and even their jobs instead of prioritizing these things above us, freezing us out of this area of their lives, or telling us we couldn’t understand.
- Made everything we couldn’t understand, understandable, fun, and a learning experience.
- Spent time with us playing the games we liked, helping us learn, and supporting us in times of frustration.
- Not taken themselves, their responsibilities, or their lives as seriously. There might have been more fun, more playfulness, and more room for making silly mistakes.
- Been home more often than not to play games, help with school work, engage with us, and put us to bed at night.
- Created bed time stories as much as read bed time stories.
- Let us play “hookie” more often so we could have fun, even during school.
- Greeted us with a warm, loving smile, unconditional love, and total adoration.
- Turned the television or computer off more often. Instead of giving us a screen to watch while they did something else, they would have participated in our lives more.
- Never done any of the abusive, neglectful, or abandoning things they did to us.
- Taken us camping, into nature, and on adventures.
- Met all of our needs in the greatest ways possible.
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Everyone’s story starts before treatment. Everyone’s story changes the minute they arrive to treatment. The Guest House Ocala offers residential programming for trauma, addictions, and related mental health issues, customized to meet your unique needs. Call us today for information on life at the estate: 1-855-483-7800