Listening to the advice, urges, and pleas of other people can be a mindless task when we are deep in our struggles. We pay no attention to the words of others and continue on our path as we see fit. Though it breaks your friend’s heart to do so, they actively choose to ignore you, no matter how right you are. They see the effort you are making and they feel the shame of knowing they’re disappointing you. Unfortunately, your disappointment has little value on their decision. You are not the rule maker or the decision maker in your friend’s life. Sometimes, you have to watch a friend struggle. Abstain from arguing, fighting, trying to control, manipulating, and cutting off. Instead of choosing adversity in any conception, choose love.
What They Need Now Is Love
“What the world needs now is love sweet love, its the only thing that there’s just too little of,” sang Dionne Warwick. At times when it seems like no love could save a friend, these are the times when unconditional love is needed the most. While it is true that there is a fine line between empathy and enabling, there is also a fine line between trying to control someone else’s life and loving them conditionally. Often, that line is blurred. The more you try to control the outcome of your friend’s life, the more you tell the friend that your love for them is conditional. You will love them if they act this way. They are only worth unconditional love if they act that way. Friends need friends to tell them one thing only: that they are loved. True and cherished friendships go through the many peaks and valleys of life together.
Whatever comes your friend’s way, tell them you will be there to remind them of how loved they are, even if you can’t be there for them in other areas. If your friend is on a path to self-destruction, it is clear you can’t support their warpath. However you can support who you know them to be and the love you have for them. Never stop reminding someone struggling how much they are loved and cared for.
The Guest House Ocala offers concierge style customization for residential trauma programs, as well as treatment for related issues like addictions and mental illness. Our private estate offers you the privacy and comfort you need to do the work and heal your mind, body, and spirit. For information on life at the estate and our programs for healing, call: 1-855-483-7800