Cutting ties with a family member is a completely independent choice. At the end of the day, as it is so often said, you are in charge of your life. You are the one that has to live with your thoughts, feelings, experiences, and decisions. If you feel you cannot continue to live with someone’s behaviors, attitudes, or actions toward you because they make you feel sick, upset, hurt, scared, or traumatized as a result of abuse that is either emotional, physical, or sexual- that is your right. The opinions of others cannot matter when it comes to your safety, sanity, and serenity. If a family member has a mental illness, past trauma, or some problem which causes them to continuously harm you in some way, it is still your right to cut ties with someone close to you.
“Family” is a loaded term, laden with connotations of commitment, honor, loyalty, and sacrifice. Healthy members make sacrifices for each other, not sacrifices on each other’s health, wellness, and safety. Making the decision to cut ties with a family member is also a matter of commitment, honor, and loyalty. You are stick to your commitment to yourself, to your recovery, your health, and your wellness. You are honoring your experience in life, the truth of how you feel, and the decisions you are empowered to make- all things you have dutifully regained through your hard work in recovery. Your loyalty to your family is important. However, if you have lived with sustained abuse which has caused you to struggle with symptoms of PTSD, you never have to be loyal to that kind of trauma.
Making the decision to cut ties with a family member is hard to do. You want to love them, support them, forgive them, and be compassionate. From a distance, you can still do all of those things.
Different Ways To Distance
Cutting ties with a family member doesn’t necessarily have to mean completely removing all contact or semblance of a relationship with that person, unless that is what you feel you need to do. Sometimes with chronically toxic family members, setting boundaries or creating distance isn’t enough. Ultimately, you are working toward some kind of limitation in how and how often you interact with the family member in question. Your therapist, sponsor, or counselor can help support your decision making and create a safe path for you to follow. Remember, it is your life in recovery from trauma. That doesn’t have to include being traumatized.
Trauma doesn’t have to be ongoing. When you choose to go to residential treatment for trauma, you choose to heal. The Guest House Ocala offers private treatment for traumas, addictions, and related mental health issues custom designed to make sure that you find a path to healing.
Call us today for information: 1-855-483-7800