Limiting and Unrealistic Expectations
As we’re working to change our addiction stories, and therefore our lives, we often have all kinds of expectations around our recovery that can end up being limiting and detrimental to our healing. When we have rigid expectations, it’s often because we’re experiencing fear – fear of losing control, fear of uncertainty, fear of failure. We want to feel as though we’re in control of how things are going to go in our lives. It’s hard to feel like we’re relinquishing control and surrendering to the flow of life, or to our higher power, or to our destiny. We want to believe that we can control the outcome of every situation. We want to be able to predict total success. We want to be able to ensure that we won’t ever again feel the disappointment and shame of our pasts. Many of the expectations we have around recovery are unrealistic and contribute to our overall unwellness.
Equating Sobriety With Happiness
One common expectation many of us share is that we’re immediately going to be happy once we get sober. This is often a subconscious belief – consciously we know there will be emotional ups and downs, but subconsciously we’re holding onto the hope that sobriety will magically fix us and instantly solve our problems. We’ll no longer be weighed down by the shame and embarrassment of our addictions. We’ll no longer have to be filled with regret every time we use. We won’t have to hide who we are anymore, because we’ll be sober, we’ll find happiness, and everything will be great.
Creating Our Well-Being
The truth of recovery is that happiness is something we have to cultivate and practice. Joy and inner peace are not something we can hope will spontaneously arise simply because we’ve eliminated our drug of choice. We have to find what brings us meaning, purpose, and a sense of fulfillment. We have to learn what makes us feel inspired. We have to learn to love and accept ourselves unconditionally. We have to practice positive thinking and shed our limiting beliefs. All of these things require work, and when we have the expectation that happiness will simply be a byproduct of our sobriety, we don’t do the actual work to generate happiness for ourselves. We allow our expectations to create illusions, and we buy into them, rather than doing the healing work we need to do for ourselves. We might be expecting sobriety to be the solution to all of our problems, rather than looking more expansively at everything we need to do in order to heal.
The Guest House is a welcoming and supportive recovery home where you will be met with open arms, wherever you are on your journey, without judgment or expectation.
Call 855-483-7800 today for more information.
theguesthouseocala.com
3230 Northeast 55th Avenue Silver Springs, FL 34488