So many of us find ourselves bending over backward for our friends, loved ones, or even strangers. While sometimes this is harmless, other times our own needs are forgotten as we focus on giving others everything that we think they need or want. Why do we do this? We do this because we are socially wired to want approval from others. In its most basic form, we please others to fit in, be cared for, and ensure survival.
Signs of People-Pleasing
Sometimes it may be challenging to know if we are people-pleasing. Here are a few simple indicators to take note of within yourself.
- You want to speak up, but stay silent for fear that the other person may become angry or upset with you.
- You would rather swallow your opinion to ensure that no one else feels threatened by a differing viewpoint.
- You worry that love, approval, and care will only be given when you agree with the people around you.
- You let go of your self-care or personal needs to focus on the needs of others.
- You begin to notice resentment within your relationships because you are not asserting yourself.
When Does It Become a Problem?
Sometimes being a people pleaser is okay. However, there does come a time when it becomes a problem. When you lose sleep at night, when finances are hurting, and you are swallowing your truths for the sake of keeping the peace, your needs may be taking a backseat to please others. For our mental wellness, it is always important to note when our needs and values are put aside for other people’s comfort.
Many of us are fearful of letting go of our people-pleasing nature because of the fundamental fear of rejection. We are scared to stand up and give our opinions because we do not want to challenge others, make others uncomfortable, or cause anger. Learning to prioritize your needs is very important as you journey through life successfully and healthily. Sometimes we need help to know where to start, why we do what we do, or how to understand what we are truly feeling and why. Here at The Guest House, we are ready to help you gain the skills and techniques needed to better understand and work through your specific challenges. Call us today to learn more about how we can help you at (855) 483-7800.