Cheerful couple enjoying ice cream
Rebuilding relationships is a significant task that many people take on after completing treatment. Addiction is a powerful thing. It can take hold of every single aspect of someone’s life. Relationships tend to be hit hard by addiction.
You may have relationships that became strained and broken because of addiction. Those people wanted desperately to help you, only to realize that you were the only one capable of helping yourself. Then there were the relationships that centered around the addiction. Those relationships were present when the substance was present, or the party was going on.
Learn that not all relationships from before treatment should make it post-treatment. Learn the difference between a healthy relationship and an unhealthy one. When you are confident that a relationship is or could become healthy, you can begin to rebuild. Here are a few suggestions to help you rebuild the relationships broken by addiction.
Begin With an Apology
A genuine apology can have amazing results. Begin with an apology if you are genuinely sorry for the hurt you have caused. Acknowledge the role you played in damaging the relationship and any conflict or hurt you may have caused.
Keep in mind that a relationship consists of two people. You cannot control what the other person does or says. You can, however, control what you do or say.
Discuss Progress and Changes
You have gone through a long process to end up where you are. You learned about your mental health, your thought process, and your triggers. The growth you have experienced is tremendous. Much of your growth is internal. The changes you have made may not be outwardly visible, especially to those who did not see you during treatment.
One way to mend a relationship that was impacted by your addiction is to talk about the changes you have made. What is different now than before treatment? What are your goals? What do you plan to do differently in your relationship than you did prior to treatment?
Sometimes our loved ones can see and feel our progress, but it is still nice to hear. If that is what your loved one needs, then work with them just like they worked with you while you were experiencing active addiction.
Set Boundaries
Boundaries help every member of a relationship. Boundaries help everyone to know what is expected and what will not be tolerated. Everyone involved in the relationship should set boundaries.
Boundaries are essential for you as you work through recovery. They will keep you safe and out of situations that you are simply not ready for.
Boundaries are also crucial for your loved one who is not in recovery. Addiction affects everyone. Everyone needs to set boundaries to protect themselves and ensure their comfort.
Work together to create a dynamic that works for your relationship. If this is a struggle, reach out to a mental health professional. They will be able to help you work together and better understand the struggle that is occurring.
Establish Goals
Rebuilding relationships is a process, something that takes time and energy. Setting goals for yourself can help you to repair relationships.
Create goals that focus on your personal desires. What type of relationships do you want to have? What do you want to work on regarding your connections to others? What do you want to improve, and how will you do that?
You can also create goals specifically for each relationship you want to rebuild. What is and is not working in that relationship? What aspects of your addiction impacted the other person? What do they need from you to feel comfortable rebuilding the connection? These questions and answers will look slightly different for every relationship that you want to rebuild.
Rely on Your Support System
Rebuilding relationships can be challenging. To do so, it is necessary to bring up old hurts, past actions, and trauma. These are all issues that are probably difficult to talk about. Bringing up past hurt can reopen old wounds.
However, to rebuild a relationship successfully, discussing the past is necessary for healing. Lean on your support system to get you through challenging days.
This may also be a time to lean on your support from your mental health professional. They can help you understand what you are feeling and help you to use the skills and tools necessary to face your challenges.
Repair Trust
Trust is a huge component in rebuilding relationships. Building trust takes time. Work on creating trust with your loved one. Once trust is established, you will be able to work towards rebuilding a healthy relationship.
Rebuilding relationships is typically a significant task to work on after treatment. Your addiction most likely affected the relationships within your life. They became strained and broken. Gaining healthy connections back is essential for overall well-being and happiness. A great first place to begin is to apologize for the hurt you caused. Apologize for the way your actions affected the relationship. You may also want to focus on rebuilding trust, creating specific goals, and surrounding yourself with support. Rebuilding relationships is hard work, but it offers many great benefits for everyone involved. Here at The Guest House, we have experience helping people work through the challenges of recovery. Recovery is filled with growth and exploration. The challenges you face will be new and may feel overwhelming. We can help. Call us The Guest House to learn more about how we can support you in your recovery journey at (855) 483-7800