incredible-marketing Arrow

The Desire Not To Feel And The Importance Of Feeling It Anyway

Substance addictions, process addictions, emotional addictions, and any other habit we develop in life as a coping mechanism is generally purposed in one direction: to help us feel, or not feel, something we are having a hard time comprehending the feeling of.

Trauma is inexplicable in its actual nature. An event, or a series of events, changes the entirety of our lives from how we relate to ourselves, as well as how we relate within ourselves, to how we relate to others and the world around us. Our inability to comprehend trauma is not a fault of some personal matter, some dysfunction in our special existence as a unique human being. For all of our humanly evolution and the longstanding integration of our “fight or flight response”, we still haven’t developed the ability to thoroughly cope with trauma. Trauma inundates our nervous system, creating lasting impact and effect on our mind, our body, and our spiritual sense of being. In an instant, or over many instants, our chemical make up is changed and it feels entirely out of our control. Attempting to feel some semblance of control, feeling, or even the most minimal of coping is all we’re really looking for when we develop dysfunctional, harmful behaviors and patterns in our life. We’re making the most out of an archaic system which gave us only a few options for dealing with trauma, none of which adequately provide us with the coping we really need.

Too often the desire to feel something we can’t feel, or not feel something we can’t stand feeling anymore of, is shamed. Mental illness, of any kind, is stigmatized as some sort of shameful dtysfunctioning, when really, coping behaviors are quite the feat of miraculous proportions. We survive trauma, and then we continue to survive living, having survived trauma. Simply stated, we do the absolute best we can, with the absolute best that we have, to deal with something that could possibly be some of the absolute worst in our lives. We don’t survive trauma because we aren’t strong enough to “get over it”. We survive trauma because we’re strong enough to live through it.

Problematically, our survival efforts eventually become greater threats to not necessarily our survival long term, but our ability and opportunity to thrive long term. Our old habits, our coping mechanisms, some of which begin to feel like old friends, do die hard. We’ve leaned on them and relied on them when we didn’t feel like we could lean on anyone or anything else. Through trauma treatment and trauma recovery, through living as a graduate and putting our recovery tires to the road, we utilize new coping behaviors and effectively regulate our emotions.

Even in recovery, we’re vulnerable to life experiences which aren’t traumatic in nature, but difficult nonetheless and may remind us of our trauma. Confronting and walking through something uncomfortable, challenging, and upsetting, is never easy. Due to our nature to be survivors, we’ll quickly find what we can to get us through. When we advance in our recovery, we won’t turn to the same habits and behaviors we used, but we may still turn toward the simple act of trying not to feel, ignoring our feelings, and attempting to bypass the feeling experience of whatever we’re going through. Despite our experiences in the past learning how to grow through our addictions and harmful behaviors, we still turn toward our primal inclination- to skip the struggle.

Not unlike any other time in our life we’ve attempted to bypass difficult feelings by suppressing them, stuffing them, numbing them, or trying to replace them with something else. Though our attempts may provide successful for a time, eventually we learn the same lesson. We can’t skip the struggle or avoid feeling whatever it is that we have to feel. As we learned in treatment, we have to grow through what we go through and we grow by feeling. Years of recovery can go by and we can still cause ourselves this anguish. With time, we’ll catch ourselves ahead of time and lean into our emotions more than our desire not to feel them.

Living as a graduate of trauma treatment and possibly living as someone in recovery from addictions of varying kinds, we’re embracing the importance of feeling our feelings. Our experience, strength, and hope remind us that we’re capable of living fully, thriving entirely, and moving through all of life’s challenges as whole, emotionally connected, recovering people.

When you graduate trauma treatment, the rubber meets the road, as it is said. To live successfully in recovery from trauma, addictions, or related mental health issues, we need the care and professionalism of an experienced, specialized staff who provide us excellence in treatment. Our alumni learn how to thrive in their lives not in spite of trauma, but because of it. We’re always here to welcome those in need of help at The Guest House Ocala. Call us today for information and resources: 1-855-483-7800