When struggling with addiction and mental illness, many of us have a tendency to engage in self-defeating habits, the things we do that are self-sabotaging and that work against our goals. Consciously we want what’s best for us, we want to heal, and we want to make good choices for ourselves. Subconsciously, however, we’re still self-hating and self-destructive. What are some of our self-defeating habits?
One of the most common self-defeating habits many of us share is postponing our recovery work. We don’t seek out support or resources, even when we know we have a problem. We refuse help when it’s offered. We don’t confide in loved ones. We deny we have a problem and convince ourselves that we’re not addicts, that we can quit any time we want or need to. We stall on taking action to help ourselves. Why do we do this? Sometimes we’re afraid of making ourselves appear vulnerable or weak. We’re afraid of being judged or criticized by other people. We may have experienced being put down in the past, and we’re avoiding feeling embarrassed and ashamed of ourselves. Oftentimes we’re afraid to do the hard work we know recovery entails.
Another self-defeating habit is how much we isolate ourselves. We cut ourselves off from the rest of the world, not letting people in who care about us and who might be able to help us. The more we isolate, the more opportunity we have to engage in our toxic patterns, including our substance abuse and addictive behaviors. Also, when we isolate too much, we often exacerbate our own depression, anxiety and other mental health issues. We’re suffering alone with our overwhelming pain, preventing ourselves from healing.
Our self-defeating habits are any of the ways in which we work against ourselves, our well-being, and our goals. These habits can be different for each of us. They might appear in our relationships. We tell ourselves a certain partner isn’t good for us, but we keep returning to the relationship anyway. We stay embroiled in toxic relationship patterns. Our self-defeating habits might appear in our daily routines and lifestyles. We might tell ourselves we want to eat more healthily but then eat foods that aren’t nutritious, that don’t support our healthy lifestyles. We might keep saying we want to lose weight but then make an excuse every time we’re about to go exercise.
Our resistance to change, our fear and our unwillingness to push ourselves out of our comfort zones can all contribute to our development of self-defeating habits. As we’re recovering from addiction, we’ll also need to address these habits and create healthier ones that support our recovery moving forward.
At The Guest House Ocala, you will be treated with dignity, respect and compassion. Call 855-483-7800 today for more information on our treatment programs.