One of the unhealthy emotional responses we find ourselves habitually turning to is transference. We take the pain of one issue and transfer it onto another issue, or onto another person. We deflect our feelings from something we don’t want to face and put it onto something that is perhaps easier to deal with. Sometimes we do this because we’re afraid to take emotional responsibility and accountability for the issue at hand. Sometimes we’re not being honest with ourselves about what’s really bothering us. We take what feels like the easier route that lets us continue to avoid our true feelings.
Transference is a form of avoidance. It involves denial and escapism. It is one of the ways in which we feed our addictive patterns. When we don’t want to face something because it’s too difficult, we transfer it onto something else and distract ourselves with our drugs of choice, feeling as though we’ve handled the situation when we’ve in fact made it worse for ourselves. When we transfer our pain from one issue onto another, we then have additional issues to deal with. We have new conflicts we’ve created in our relationships because we transferred our anger onto innocent, unsuspecting people. We have more inner turmoil because instead of confronting our pain, we’ve let it linger and fester. We haven’t taken active steps to heal ourselves. Instead, we’ve deflected our emotions where they don’t actually belong.
We’re often afraid of what will happen if we’re emotionally honest with ourselves, if we deal with things head on, as they are, without trying to transfer them elsewhere. We’ll have to look at ourselves honestly. We’ll have to be vulnerable. We might have to humble ourselves, admit we’re wrong, and make amends. We might have to take full responsibility for the issue at hand, finally admitting that we were the cause of our own difficulties, not anyone or anything else. We often realize in situations like these that we can’t blame anyone but ourselves. We’re afraid to be accountable, both to ourselves and to others. We’re afraid of the pressure and expectations that come with taking responsibility. We’re afraid we’ll have to do the hard work of facing our issues and actually healing them at the root. We’re overwhelmed at the thought of even having to look at our feelings and decipher what they mean and what they represent for us.
The sooner we look at our emotional patterns such as our tendency towards transference, the sooner we can heal from them and develop healthier patterns of honestly and openly dealing with our emotions head on.
The Guest House is a welcoming and supportive recovery home where you will be met with open arms, wherever where you are on your journey, without judgment or expectation. Call 855-483-7800 today for more information.