Hoping to Reconnect With Self
When we develop a dependence on an addictive substance or behavior, there are often subconscious emotional patterns and instincts at play. Many of us, for example, feel so detached and disconnected that we’re using to feel more like ourselves. When we use, we feel we’ve returned to our true selves, to the person with whom we feel most comfortable and familiar. We feel as though, by getting high, we’re able to reacquaint ourselves with the version of ourselves we’ve lost. Substances provide us a false sense of self beneath all the layers of our mental and emotional distress.
Shedding Insecurity and Self-Doubt
Sometimes we use to feel more self-confident and secure with ourselves. Sober, all of our social anxiety, insecurity, and nervousness can make the company of others intolerable. We feel confused and disoriented, at odds with ourselves. Words never come out right, and we keep doing the wrong things. Our inner dialogue convinces us that other people are judging, criticizing, and looking down on us. Under their critical, watchful gaze, we can feel ourselves shrinking. All the while, we beat ourselves up, making everything worse. When we get high, we can feel all of these layers of self-rejection and fear begin to melt away. We’re suddenly much less worried about what other people think of us, and we begin to feel better about ourselves. We become even more dependent on our drug of choice because we think it’s helping us to feel more like our true selves.
Recurring Cycles of Losing Self
As our dependence upon our drug of choice grows, we feel even more disconnected from our inner selves. After a time, we begin to feel as though we don’t recognize ourselves. Our behaviors and our choices leave us baffled and defeated. We can’t make sense of why we’re doing the harmful, self-destructive things we’re doing. Our self-esteem rapidly gives way to shame and guilt, which drives us back to our drugs of choice. It becomes a vicious recurring cycle. First, we feel separated from ourselves when we use, and then we use to reconnect with ourselves. At times, we even catch glimpses of the person we believe ourselves to be, but then it eludes us, and we’re desperate to reconnect. We long to feel like ourselves again, to shed the anxiety, insecurity, and self-doubt, so we keep using to try and regain a sense of who we are.
It doesn’t have to be this way. Discover the person you were meant to be at The Guest House Ocala. Our experience with addiction and recovery makes us uniquely equipped to be able to understand the struggles you’re experiencing. We’re here to help.
Call 855-483-7800 today for more information on our treatment programs.