The work of recovery is daunting, intimidating and scary for many of us, and oftentimes the hardest part of the process for us is the personal transformation we know we’ll have to undergo. Why do we fear this transformation? What are we so afraid of?
Many of us are afraid of doing the work to recover because we know it will entail sacrificing our drugs of choice and our toxic, self-destructive, self-defeating behaviors. We don’t feel ready to give up the things we’ve grown dependent upon, the drugs we’re convinced we need in order to be happy. We don’t want to face ourselves, our pasts and our truth without the filter that drugs provide, the self-medicating, the escapism and distraction. We’re afraid of feeling our pain without numbing ourselves to it. Undergoing personal transformation requires confronting our fears directly, and we convince ourselves that we don’t have the strength or the courage necessary for this challenging work. We’ve come to believe that we are weak and powerless. We don’t see ourselves as having agency or autonomy in our lives. We don’t believe in our own power. We lack conviction and purpose. Transforming ourselves would mean having faith in ourselves, rekindling our hope and believing in ourselves. It would mean working with ourselves instead of against ourselves. This inner work feels simply impossible for many of us.
Sometimes we fear personal transformation because we’re afraid of separating ourselves from people who are toxic for us, people that we know won’t be able to continue on our journeys with us once we do the work. We tend to form relationships that are codependent attachments rather than healthy, mutually supportive and beneficial partnerships. We often form these attachments with other addicts who themselves are struggling with mental illness. When our partners and friends aren’t yet ready to undergo their own personal transformation, we have to make a difficult choice – can we move forward with them or must we leave them behind in order to prioritize our own well-being? The fear of loss, the fear of being alone, and the fear of abandonment are common fears many of us share, and when we’re struggling with addiction, these fears can be particularly acute. Knowing that we might have to cope with some very difficult losses, and that we might have to feel all of the sadness and grief that come with loss, can make us especially afraid of undergoing the personal transformation we know we need in order to heal.
At The Guest House Ocala, you will be treated with dignity, respect and compassion. Call 855-483-7800 today for more information on our treatment programs.