You’re safe is one of the most important things we have to convince ourselves of when we are in recovery from trauma. Trauma rids us of our sense of safety in many ways. Trauma upsets our sense of reality. Trauma upsets our sense of self. Trauma puts our nervous system into a state of dysfunction, causing us to feel anxious and on edge. Trauma hyper activates the amygdala, also causing us to feel anxious and on edge, constantly apprehending danger. Feeling safe is one thing that many survivors of trauma do not feel. Though they want, in their heart of hearts, to feel safe, safety is also a threat in itself. Feeling safe, for many survivors of trauma, means feeling vulnerable. Vulnerability, though important, primarily means potentially getting hurt again a prospect which, for trauma survivors, is the ultimate fear.
Jamie Marich, Ph.D. wrote “Please Don’t Tell Me ‘I’m in a Safe Place’” for decolonizingyoga.com. “Whenever I’ve been told, as a survivor of trauma, that I’m in a safe place, my body tenses and my palms get sweaty,” she writes. She explains how everything in her being wants to say something that many people in recovery are feeling, “‘Please don’t tell me what I should or shouldn’t be feeling.’” Depending on someone’s experience with trauma, being told “Don’t worry” and “You’re safe” or “This is okay” might have been part of the trauma itself. “Safety is not a black-and-white, binary construct,” Marich explains. Ultimately, only an individual being treated for trauma or who is in trauma recovery can decide that they are safe.
Creating a safe space for therapeutic healing is necessary. For individuals in their trauma recovery outside of treatment, creating safety for themselves is also necessary. However, it may not be necessary to use safety as a form of feeling and emphasize that people in recovery need feel safe. Safety can be a healthy reminder, perhaps modifying the statement to It is possible for you to feel safe. Safety can be a healthy form of empowerment, modifying the statement to be You can feel safe. Turning on feelings of safety isn’t easy when you’re a trauma survivor. When you are feeling especially unsafe, being told that you are safe can feel more like a criticism than a comfort. Like telling someone who is depressed You are happy or telling someone who is anxious, You are calm, the statement almost doesn’t belong. Trauma recovery is a personal journey taken on a completely personal timeline. If and when safety is truly a safe place to be, individuals in recovery will be able to make the proclamation for themselves.
We’re proud to call Florida our home state. At The Guest House Ocala, everyone with an experience of trauma is welcomed to our estate to heal in mind, body, and spirit. Our treatment programs are customized on a concierge level of care. Each client’s treatment program is tailor fit to their specific needs and experiences. For information on life at the estate or our approach to trauma care, call us today: 1-855-483-7800