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We thrive on fantasy. Fantasy lives are marketed to us in every area that they can be. We are sold the ideals on the perfect body, the perfect hair, the perfect partner, the perfect date, the perfect romance, the perfect relationship, the perfect proposal, the perfect marriage, the perfect children, the perfect job, the perfect life- the ultimate fantasy being: everything is perfect. Sadly, perfection does not exist. Tragically, many people are not aware of that and they buy into the idea of fantasy. Like an image projected onto a cloud, our fantasies are rarely tangible. Everytime we think we are about to grasp the perfection of our fantasies it slips out of our hands. Sometimes, we create our fantasies, we act on them, and we can hold onto them. Most often, the experience of a fantasy is fleeting.

Few know this experience better than those who are chemically addicted to drugs and alcohol. Once tolerance has developed, the fantasy of experiencing the same or greater high becomes more and more of an illusion. Increasingly sick, the addicted brain and body struggle to get back to that good place of intoxication. Forever chasing the fantasy, many addicts and alcoholics pursue the dream to damaging lengths.

Love is often equated to a drug. Recovery professional Louise Stanger writes for Huffington Post, “Like a person struggling with a cocaine addiction in search of their next high, humans are drawn to the natural chemical high that sexual attraction offers,” which she explains may “create an unrealistic vision of sex, intimacy, and romance.” For someone who is a “love addict”, she states, “The adage love is a drug becomes all too real.” Chasing the dream of fantasized sex, love, and romance, love addiction is forever grasping for clouds. Problematically, the fantasy is that being able to reach the fantasy, grab hold of it, and hang onto it, will fix or fulfill something in the love addict’s personal life. What is a fantasy to a love addict is the life of someone else. Expecting someone and all of their individuality, as well as their individual needs, to fill the needs of someone else is fantastical, indeed. This cycle can continue in unhealthy ways until therapy begins and recovery can be started.