Summer cookouts, wedding receptions, holiday events, Friday night dinner parties. For people who have never struggled with addiction, these events just sound like fun reasons to get together with friends and family. But for people in addiction recovery, social gatherings can be fraught with triggers. You may be around other people who are still using. You may get peer pressure to drink or use. You may find yourself in a situation that reminds you of when you drank or used. Or you may experience social anxiety that you used to mask with drugs or alcohol. All of these situations can trigger cravings to use.
Fear of encountering triggers that lead to relapse can be so intense it can make you think that the only answer is just to stay home. But isolating yourself means you’re missing out on opportunities to build supportive community and connection, both of which are critical to maintaining your sobriety. That’s why an important part of addiction is gaining the skills and confidence you need to handle the triggers you may encounter while socializing. When you’re aware of your triggers and have a plan in place to address them, you can enjoy social events without worrying that you’ll jeopardize your sobriety.
What Are Triggers and Cravings?
Scientists define a trigger as an external stimulus that brings about a reaction. For people in recovery from drug or alcohol addiction, triggers are things that activate the urge to use. A trigger can be a person, an environment, a situation, even thoughts and memories. Triggers are highly individual. The things that trigger you might not bother someone else and vice versa. Cravings are often the result of triggers. Cravings are when you have a strong urge to drink or use. Cravings can manifest as physical feelings (sweaty palms, increased heart rate, etc.), emotions (feeling anxious or out of control), or as intrusive thoughts about using. It’s very common to have cravings in the early stages of addiction recovery as your brain is relearning how to experience pleasure without drugs or alcohol.
Why Social Gatherings Can Be Triggering
You walk into a party, and someone offers you a drink. Or they’re using drugs and ask if you want to join in, saying, “Just a little bit won’t hurt.” Peer pressure to use at social events can be powerful. If you’re used to being a people pleaser, it can be especially hard to refuse these offers.
Many people in recovery from addiction turned to substances in order to mask social anxiety. So, the thought of going to a party sober can cause you to feel even more stress and anxiety than usual. Also, the prospect of having to face people and talk about your addiction recovery can be stressful. And at a party, you’ll likely see other people drinking or using, which can be a huge temptation for a recovering addict.
The Type of Gathering Can Matter
While any gathering can provoke anxiety for someone in recovery, holiday parties can be especially triggering. The holidays are an emotionally fraught time for many people. The expectation that you should be happy and that your holiday celebration should look a certain way creates unrealistic expectations, stress, and anxiety. Memories of past gatherings can bring strong emotions, especially if the gathering is at your childhood home or in your old hometown. And at holiday parties, you may see people you’re not usually around and don’t know how to talk to. And of course, holiday parties are usually awash in alcohol.
Master How to Manage Triggers at The Guest House
Part of your healing at The Guest House includes learning how to manage cravings and intrusive thoughts and feelings. Through evidence-based practice and holistic therapeutic methods including breathwork, somatic therapy, meditation, and creative therapies, you’ll learn how to harness the power of your body, mind, and spirit to face triggers and take control of your emotions and your addiction recovery.
Strategies
Although they can be full of triggers, social situations can be handled and even fun with a little advance planning. One of the things you learn in addiction recovery is that you get to decide for yourself what your limits are. That includes social settings. Knowing and communicating your boundaries is essential to navigating social events. Here are a few strategies that you may find helpful the next time you go to a party.
Practice Your Responses
Knowing what you’re going to say when you’re offered a drink or a substance can help relieve your anxiety about being asked.
- “No, thank you.” – Sometimes a simple but polite refusal does the trick.
- “Thanks, but I have an early day tomorrow.”- Having an excuse handy can be a good way to say “no” without getting personal.
- “I’d love a glass of water.” – Asking for an alternative is a good way to change the subject.
- “Actually, I’m in recovery.” – If you feel comfortable sharing your story, this can create opportunities for others to support you in your journey.
These are just a few suggestions. You may come up with responses that you’re more comfortable with. The important thing is to practice these responses so that you have them on hand when you need them.
Have an Exit Strategy
Limiting your time at a party may help you avoid triggers. That’s why it’s good to have an exit strategy so that you can leave whenever you need to.
- Set a time limit – Deciding ahead of time that you’ll only stay for a certain length of time can help reduce anxiety around socializing
- Have a prepared reason that you need to leave – An early appointment, a pet that needs to be fed, or another engagement all work as easy ways to explain why you’re leaving.
- Coordinate with a trusted friend on a sign to indicate that you need to leave – If you’re going to the party with a friend, agree ahead of time on a signal that you can give when it’s time for you to leave.
- Arrange your own transportation to and from the party – Being in control of your own transportation means you can arrive and leave when you want to, regardless of other people’s plans.
- Make an Irish Exit – If you feel uncomfortable or if your gut is telling you it’s time to go, there’s nothing that says you can’t just quietly slip out of the party without saying goodbye.
Bring a Sober Friend
If you’re going to be in a social situation where you think you may encounter triggers to drink or use, bring a sober buddy. You can support each other in setting boundaries and maintaining sobriety.
Practice Grounding Exercises
If you feel yourself becoming anxious or overwhelmed, try a grounding exercise. Grounding exercises can help you calm your mind, manage cravings, and banish intrusive or racing thoughts. There are lots of grounding exercises you can do in the middle of a crowd without being noticed, so they’re perfect for helping manage anxiety and cravings in social settings.
5-4-3-2-1 Technique
This exercise uses all five senses to calm your mind and bring you back to the present by noticing the details of your environment. In your head, name:
- Five things you can see
- four things you can touch
- Three things you can hear
- Two things you can smell
- One thing you can taste
Repeat this exercise until you feel in control of your mind and emotions.
Breathwork
Your own breath can be a powerful tool to relieve anxiety and ground you in your body and in the present. These simple breathing exercises can be done anywhere.
Counting Breaths
Begin taking deep breaths from your diaphragm. Beginning at 10 and counting backwards, count inside your head each time you exhale. Repeat as many times as necessary.
Box Breathing
This exercise leverages the power of your breathing in four simple steps.
- Breathe in for four counts
- Hold your breath in for four counts
- Exhale for four counts
- Hold after you exhale for four counts
The repetitive counting called for in this exercise contributes to its calming effect, bringing your thoughts back to the present.
Press Your Feet into the Floor
This is a straightforward technique that you can do anywhere. Simply press your feet down into the floor. Concentrate on pressing with equal pressure from your toes to your heels. Notice the solidity of the ground beneath your feet. Relax and repeat this exercise as many times as you need to.
Give Yourself Something Else to Think About
Redirect anxious or intrusive thoughts by giving your brain something else to do.
- In your mind, choose a category like flowers or movies and try to see how many items that fit into that category you can think of.
- Count silently to yourself.
- Look around the room and name all the blue things that you see.
- Imagine you’re somewhere else like the beach or the mountains. What do you see, smell, and hear?
By preparing yourself with tools and strategies to handle triggers and cravings in social settings, you can create a relapse prevention plan that includes maintaining important connections with family and friends. What’s more, you’ll become one of your strongest sources of support. The Guest House is here to give you the tools you need to live your life fully. Call us today at 855-598-8230.