We often know instinctively that we need help and support as we work to recover, but many of us will reject them time and time again, even when we’re having a really hard time and are suffering mentally, emotionally and physically. We will push people away who are offering us kindness and guidance, even when we’re in a great deal of pain. We reject support in recovery for various reasons, many of them subconscious, meaning we’re not even aware that we’re doing it or why. We can begin to turn around these patterns of rejecting support in recovery when we start to become more mindful of them.
Rejecting support might mean we never allow people to help us. It might mean we refuse to listen to people’s advice, even when it resonates with us. It might mean we never tell anyone that we’re suffering from addiction. We might keep our issues a secret from anyone who might help us, and we might never let on just how difficult they’ve become. Often our reasons for doing these things come from having been conditioned to think that we need to do everything on our own, that it’s a sign of weakness to ask for help, that we’re not strong enough or good enough if we need support. Subconsciously we might equate needing help with being inadequate. We might feel inferior to other people who we assume are recovering all on their own. We often will reject support out of our fears of being judged and looked down upon. We have fundamental fears of rejection, judgment, and criticism that often silence us and make us avoid sharing our difficulties with other people. We might keep any difficulties to ourselves because our pride makes us want to avoid feeling threatened by other people’s rejection and judgment.
We often will reject support from other people because we’re afraid of embracing ourselves for who we really are. Accepting ourselves fully would mean accepting the fact that we’re addicts. It would mean accepting our mental illnesses and addictions as part of who we are. We’re afraid of opening up to other people and confiding in them because we’re afraid to look at ourselves honestly and openly. We’re afraid of the vulnerability that comes along with honest self-exploration. We’re afraid of facing ourselves, and seeking out support would mean we’d have to address the unhealed pain and unresolved wounds we’ve been avoiding confronting.
We want to understand the reasons why we’ve been avoiding help throughout our struggles with addiction so that we can make the most of all the resources, love and support available to us in recovery and stop rejecting them when we need them most.
The caring, compassionate staff of The Guest House is here to support you as you start your journey to recovery and healing. Call 855-483-7800 today for more information.