Loneliness is one of the emotions we commonly experience but are most afraid of feeling. We’re afraid of being alone with our painful thoughts and feelings. We’re afraid of having to face ourselves without any form of distraction. We find ourselves easily distracted by the issues and conflicts of a relationship, as well as by the love and affection. Our relationships provide us with a form of escape from the inner work and healing we know we need to do. When we’re alone, we no longer have that distraction or escape. We don’t have this other person there to help us numb ourselves and forget our pain. We’re afraid of having to confront and actually feel our pain. Our loneliness, therefore, often goes deeper than just wanting romantic love. It can also symbolize our fear-based relationship with our feelings.
When we’re lonely, we’re often afraid that not having a partner means we’re somehow inadequate or inferior to other people. When we feel lonely, we feel empty and incomplete. We’re often looking for something or someone outside of ourselves to make us feel better about ourselves, to provide us with the validation and acceptance we’re desperate for. We don’t feel good enough as we are, and we rely on someone else to compensate for our low self-esteem and lack of self-assuredness. Our sense of self-worth is often so low that we don’t feel comfortable alone, within ourselves. We use our partners to bolster our confidence. When we don’t have that person, we feel even worse about ourselves.
How can we cope with loneliness? One great way to approach our loneliness differently is to learn to embrace it. Our solitude gives us time to explore our own interests and passions, something many of us have not done for quite some time. We often neglect ourselves and our gifts, talents and strengths for the sake of a relationship. We cater to the relationship and to our partner’s needs and wishes, sacrificing our own in the process. Having time alone enables us to think about what it is we love to do. When we learn how to commit time to ourselves in productive, enjoyable ways, we no longer feel lonely. We feel fulfilled and complete within ourselves.
Another important element in dealing with loneliness is learning to love and accept ourselves unconditionally. When our self-worth comes from within, we don’t feel nearly as lonely because we’re happy with ourselves. We’re comfortable with who we are. We enjoy our own company.
Let’s take a closer look at our loneliness and see what underlying emotions are driving it. Exploring our feelings of loneliness, self-love and self-worth can serve us tremendously in our healing.
The caring, compassionate staff of The Guest House is here to support you as you start your journey to recovery and healing. Call 855-483-7800 today for more information.