More often than not, it is easier to forgive others than it is to forgive yourself. The word forgiveness can appear to be a strong word that has a forceful meaning. Forgiveness can be described as a feeling of letting go of emotions or feelings that you have towards another. While people often forgive others, many people find it difficult to forgive themselves.
Everyone makes bad choices sometimes. However, learning how to let go of the expectations that you had of yourself is key to forgiving yourself. As you continue to grow in your recovery, the idea of forgiving yourself can sometimes seem daunting. It is important to recognize that to be your best self, forgiveness is essential.
Why Is Forgiveness Important?
You may have gotten caught up in a thought process of thinking about your past bad choices. It is easy to get wrapped up in that negative thinking trap. Everyone has made bad choices in their lives, and you are no exception. It can be easy to blame yourself and feel bad for the choices that you have made in the past. However, what you do with these emotions and feelings is your choice.
The burden of carrying around something this heavy is not easy. You are the judge in this thing called life. Maybe you continue to put yourself on trial for every little mistake that you have made, or perhaps you criticize yourself for everything you do. Whatever you do, the good news is that you can choose to take yourself off the stand.
Self-forgiveness is needed to live an abundant life. You deserve to live a life that you are proud of and not continue to hold yourself hostage for things in the past. That means you deserve to love yourself. You are worth more than the most unfavorable thing that you have ever engaged in.
Be Vulnerable in Forgiving Yourself
Sometimes you have to expose your emotions and feelings to grow in the areas where you would like to make a change. Forgiving yourself is no different. Understanding the power of honesty, and exposing yourself to discover the reasons why you do not feel worthy of forgiveness, can be a game changer.
You have to be vulnerable and desire to change within your life. Forgiving yourself is hard work. You will want to run as fast as you can because of being uncomfortable with your feelings. Just remember, without discomfort, growth does not occur. You have to remember that in this space of change, you are growing and deserving of forgiveness. No matter what others have told you or what you have said to yourself, you are worthy.
Self-forgiveness is showing up for yourself. In this time of change, you treat yourself the way you want others to treat you. If you find it easy to forgive others, then forgiving yourself should be a piece of cake.
Journal to Forgive Yourself
You need an outlet that is just for you. Journaling can be that outlet. Keeping a journal can help you recognize your thoughts and feelings and determine healthy ways to navigate them. With journaling, you get to choose your level of vulnerability, and you are in control of your words.
If you want to get started, list your regrets and the reasons why you struggle with forgiving yourself. Write in detail the reasons why you feel that you are undeserving of forgiveness. Be specific about the events and take ownership of your part. Once you have this completed, take a moment and look at your words. Think about how you feel as you acknowledge past bad choices.
Decide to Forgive Yourself
Once you write down all your regrets, you get to choose what direction to go from there. The choice is yours to forgive yourself. However, you have to make that choice and stick with it.
Sometimes it is easy to say it, but it can be a challenge to do it. For example, try saying out loud, “I forgive myself.” This may seem awkward at first, but remember that sometimes it is through the uncomfortable moments that you grow. You deserve forgiveness just as others deserve your forgiveness.
Learn From Your Mistakes
Everyone has made a mistake or two in their lives. However, getting caught up in the space of regret can be a never-ending cycle of emotional abuse. Acknowledge your mistakes and own them. There is nothing you can do about the past, so stop playing that event over and over. Accept and release it.
Ask yourself, “What did I learn?” or “How did I grow?” These questions will give you a different view of the event. If you can grow and learn from an event, you have found hope, and that means you are growing.
In a world of self-blame and negativity, it can be daunting to think about forgiving yourself. Maybe you feel that you are undeserving. However, you have come too far to give up now. Your happiness is waiting to unfold, and lack of forgiveness may be the roadblock. It is time for you to take charge and start building your road to forgiving yourself. At The Guest House, we understand that it can be difficult to forgive yourself. We meet you right where you are, carrying all the tools that you need. We value you and your recovery. Call us today at (855) 483-7800 to learn more about how we can support you in your recovery.