It can be hard to accept help when all you have done thus far is be the helper. It’s even harder when you are in recovery and you do not know who to turn to. Maybe you feel like you are a burden or you have put people through enough heartache. Whatever your reason, this tendency to deny help can be harmful in recovery. Everyone around you needs help at some point in their lives and you are no different.
In this article, we will discuss acceptance in recovery, which relates to both yourself and others. Then we will delve into the reasons behind a lack of acceptance and how The Guest House can assist you in your time of need.
Your Needs Are Important in Recovery
To accept help, you have to let go of control and be vulnerable. For some people, difficulty with vulnerability is the biggest hurdle in learning to accept help. However, it is important to allow others to step in and help when needed. After all, you would not have gotten very far had you not accepted help in treatment.
Knowing that your needs are important can change how you view asking for help. You have your reasons that you struggle with asking for help. This could stem from childhood, where asking for help was not an option. Perhaps you do not view your needs as being important or you just feel like you are better off alone.
Whatever your reasoning is, when your needs go unnoticed, you develop a sense of shame about asking or receiving help. This shame fosters a deep sense of independence and a feeling of being alone.
Accept Help While Examining Your Beliefs
Sometimes asking for help can create an unbelievable amount of fear about someone refusing to assist you. That fear can cause you to give up on ever getting help. You may rationalize that since you are in recovery, you do not need anyone. Recovery does not mean that you will never need help again, though. Instead, it means that you continue to grow into being the best version of yourself.
If you struggle to believe in the validity of accepting help, you may need to examine your beliefs. Perhaps your biggest fear is losing control. Below are several thought-provoking questions that you may want to ask yourself:
- What is stopping you from accepting help from others?
- Do you tend to give and struggle to receive? Why or why not?
- Why are you worthy of accepting help from others?
- Do you feel that you are undeserving of help? If so, why?
Sometimes just a moment of reflection can make a world of difference in your thought processes. You may not even know why accepting other people’s help makes you uncomfortable. Perhaps you may want to consider having a professional therapist collaborate with you. A professional like the ones at The Guest House can help you unearth your underlying core beliefs.
Accept Help by Starting Small
Learning to accept help does not need to be complicated. It can be simple. Yet, sometimes it is not easy to do something different. This can be especially true when you are so used to doing everything on your own.
Start small to receive the help. It is easy to dismiss the help or give yourself excuses as to why you do not need help. However, that thought process does not cultivate acceptance and will lead to a negative outcome.
Self-acceptance helps you to feel like a better version of yourself. When you accept yourself, you are more willing to accept help when needed. This does not have to be a massive thing. For example, you can allow someone to hold the door for you and acknowledge that they helped you. This is something so small, but it will give you the feeling of accepting help. You do not need to ask for anything major, initially. All you need to do is meet yourself right where you are at in your quest to accept help.
Practice Gratitude
To receive help from another is a beautiful treasure, especially in recovery. The act of giving is the act of connection and love. Start a gratitude journal where you write down each act of help. Express your thoughts and emotions about the action that someone took on your behalf. This can be a healthy habit of reflection, allowing you to pinpoint the areas in which you may struggle. Not to mention that gratitude is the best-kept secret to decreasing stress and living a happy life.
Learn to Accept Help at The Guest House
Life can get hard in recovery. It has been said that recovery is a journey, not a destination. Exploring your capabilities can be difficult as you expect more from yourself. Learning to accept help is no easy task – especially if you struggle with being vulnerable.
At the Guest House, we understand where you have been and that being vulnerable is hard. We will meet you with compassion in this part of your journey and never dismiss your accomplishments. Let us help you learn to accept help.
Accepting help may make you feel uncomfortable and disconnected. However, this journey will cause you to grow in all areas of your life. It is easy to want to do everything by yourself, as you may think that you have been a burden to those around you. Thinking in these terms, though, can create an unpleasant state of mind. You do not have to do this all by yourself. We understand this struggle and we do not want you to feel alone. At The Guest House, we have trained professionals who are in recovery and get it. We strive to meet every person right where they are at. Please do not hesitate and give us a call at (855) 483-7800.