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Our Fears of Abandonment

Our addictions and our relationship fears are often linked and can fuel and exacerbate each other. When we’re in unhealthy relationships and experiencing excessive fear within those relationships, we’re more likely to turn to our addictions for comfort and solace, and we’re more likely to experience spikes in our mental illnesses. Similarly, when our addictions are out of control, our relationships suffer, our mental health issues worsen, and our unresolved fears deepen. We often don’t associate our addictions with our relationship fears, but for many of us they are very related. Healing from our addictive patterns means also healing the mental and emotional patterns we’ve been practicing, the limiting beliefs we’ve been believing, and the fears we’ve been giving power over us.

One of our most common fears is that of abandonment. We’re desperately afraid our partner will leave us, cheat on us, lie to us or otherwise betray us. We’re so afraid of being hurt that we try to prevent it by clinging to them, controlling them or manipulating them. We can experience these issues with our friendships and family relationships as well, they’re not strictly reserved for our romantic partnerships. We feel panicked when we feel a friend, partner or family member might not love us anymore. We’re terrified of losing them. We feel incomplete and empty without them. We feel our lives don’t have meaning, purpose, significance or value without them. We feel worthless unless they’re reassuring us that they love us.

Oftentimes these fears are rooted in our traumatic experiences. Many of us experienced some kind of abandonment in our lives that shook us and impacted how we view ourselves and other people. We might have grown up in families separated by divorce. We might have been neglected or left by someone we love. We might have lost a loved one to death or separation. Whatever our trauma, we can feel the residual fears of abandonment long after the initial trauma, sometimes for a lifetime.

In order to have healthy relationships, and to create peace within ourselves, we want to confront our fears not continue to sweep them under the rug and avoid them. We want to face our fears rather than using our drugs of choice to escape them. We can explore and heal our fears with therapy, meditation, self-expression and energy healing. We can communicate our fears to our loved ones and confront them head on rather than using silence, suppression and denial to resist our fears. The more we confront the fears we’re still suffering from, including our relationship fears, the more at peace and liberated we become which frees us up to be able to recover from our addictions and heal from our mental health issues.

The caring, compassionate staff of The Guest House is here to support you as you start your journey to recovery and healing. Call 855-483-7800 today for more information.