One of the hardest things we have to do when trying to have a healthy relationship is disclose the fact that we’re addicts. Many of us are so afraid of this difficult disclosure that we avoid relationships altogether. We push people away when they try to get too close to us. We isolate ourselves and keep our addictions a secret from other people. We might try to conceal our addictions while already in a relationship, doing our best to hide our drug of choice and cover up any evidence of our problem. It’s virtually impossible, though, to keep something as big and as overwhelming as addiction from the people closest to us, especially if we live with them or see them often. We struggle to know how to disclose our addictions, and we wonder if there’s a right way to do it.
Broken Trust
It’s easier said than done, but we want to consider disclosing our addictions as early as possible in the relationship. If we don’t, we’re essentially lying to our partners, not allowing them to see who we really are. We’re keeping a huge part of our identities and our lives from them. This is not the foundation for a healthy relationship that we want to create. It’s hard to come back from that level of dishonesty and secrecy. We’ll then have to work extra hard to repair the trust that has been broken. We’ll have to work to convince our partners that they can trust us, but we’ve already formed relationship patterns of deceit that can be hard to recover from. It isn’t fair to this other person to allow them to get close to us without knowing what they’re dealing with and what they’re getting themselves into.
Worsened Addictive Patterns
Our secrecy is harmful not only to the relationship and to our partners, but to us as well. Our addictions thrive on our avoidance, our emotional suppression, our fear of facing the truth. These are the emotional patterns that have been feeding our addictions for so much of our lives. When we’re stressed out and anxious about the fact that we’re keeping this big of a secret from the people we love, and when we’re worried about when and how we will eventually disclose that secret, we exacerbate our addictive patterns, our depressions and other mental health issues. We use our drugs of choice to try and escape our fears. We’re afraid our partners will judge us for being addicts and for lying to them. We’re afraid they’ll reject us and ultimately leave us. Our fears eat away at us, and we can start using our drugs of choice even more frequently to distract ourselves from them. How to disclose our addictions to our partners, when to do it, and how to soften the blow, can be some of the sources of stress that chip away not only at the health of our relationship but at our sobriety.
At The Guest House Ocala, we are uniquely equipped to help our guests heal from trauma-induced substance abuse, process addiction, anxiety and depression in a safe, comfortable and confidential setting.
Call 855-483-7800 today for more information on our treatment programs.
theguesthouseocala.com
3230 Northeast 55th Avenue Silver Springs, FL 34488