When was the last time you told someone how you felt? Conversations at the water cooler or when seeing friends include light banter. Polite conversation includes telling people you’re fine even if you’re not. Unfortunately, most people ask, “How are you?” but don’t want the truth. When you have a conversation with yourself, you may be guilty of the same. Telling yourself you’re fine means you don’t have to look deeper. The next time you ask yourself how you are, challenge yourself and look beyond the surface of your life.
Why Do I Say I’m Fine?
There are advantages to staying on the surface. Conversations with yourself and others are easy. Plus, you can avoid a long discussion when you give a simple answer. A few other advantages include:
You Don’t Have to Contemplate Your Life
Let’s face it. Life is messy. If you don’t face the mess, you don’t have to think about change. Saying “I’m fine” closes the door on further examination of your thoughts, feelings, and environment. Also, if you were taught not to need anything or ask for help, letting people know that you want help to change is a challenge.
You May Not Be Ready to Address Your Emotions
What you learned while growing up or in a previous relationship about handling your emotions carries over. If you were taught to suppress your feelings, it might now be hard to show them. Emotions connected with trauma, depression, or anxiety are burdensome to unravel. Maybe you use harmful habits (risky behavior, substance abuse) to mask your emotions.
You Use “I’m Fine” as a Boundary
There are people you don’t want to talk to about anything. Sharing how you feel may be too revealing, or you fear they will tell everyone what you say. Being cautious about who you share your feelings with is understandable. Also, by not saying how you feel, you avoid conflict. However, sharing how you feel starts the process of healing.
How Can I Share My Feelings?
When you bottle up your emotions, you can increase your risk of a mental health or substance use disorder. Sharing your feelings is not easy because you will face emotional and physical messiness. What does this mean? Everything you suppressed or denied can come out. A suggestion to help you while digging deeper is to talk with a therapist.
Sharing your feelings can make you feel better. Your relationships can become authentic because you’re sharing your true self. Suppose you are not comfortable sharing with others yet. That’s okay. You can look within yourself. Once you come to terms with yourself, find someone you trust. The person you choose to trust may not exist in your family or social circle. You can set a goal to find healthy, supportive friends.
Admitting to yourself and others how you feel is scary. You may have spent years denying your feelings. The uncertainty of digging deeper into your emotions and underlying issues is understandable. However, it would be best if you considered talking with a therapist. The Guest House provides the mental health and substance use disorder care you need. We can help you come to terms with past trauma or harmful behaviors. In addition, you can find respite by engaging in our various therapies. Our quiet location near Ocala, Florida, offers you comfort while healing. To learn more, call (855) 483-7800.