Grief is one of the most painful emotions we can experience, bringing us deep sadness as we mourn the loss of someone or something close to us. What we’ve lost is quite important to us and means a great deal to us. We can feel as though there is a part of us that is now missing, a hole in our heart where our loved one used to be. We can feel incomplete, lost, alone and empty. The pain we feel is sometimes exacerbated by the ways in which we respond to it. How do we handle our grief?
Many of us don’t take the time to fully mourn. We want to rush the grieving process and avoid feeling the pain as much as we can. We might return to work or school as quickly as possible. We might focus on our obligations, duties and responsibilities to distract ourselves. We might pretend as if we’re not feeling as much pain as we actually are. We might tell other people who are concerned about us that we’re fine, that we’ve moved on, that it won’t bring back our loved one to sit around and cry about it.
While it’s true we must have acceptance of our loss in order to heal and move on, not taking sufficient time to grieve only worsens our pain. We don’t give ourselves the time to honor the person we’ve lost. We don’t allow ourselves to reflect on the relationship, to think about how much that person meant to us. We store their things or quickly give them away because we can’t bear to look at them. We’d rather people didn’t mention them to us. We empty the house of things that remind us of them. We avoid thinking about them. We don’t want any visible reminders to bring up painful memories for us. We convince ourselves we’re doing the right thing in order to move on.
Another way in which we handle our grief is by drowning ourselves in it, burying ourselves in the pain because we’re not ready to let go. We might refuse to accept the loss. We might pore over our loved one’s things. We might be in such denial that we suffer from delusions, hoping and praying they will return, refusing to admit they’re gone. This is a common response to grief, and the pain is so overwhelming and debilitating we find ourselves unable to think of anything else.
The caring, compassionate staff of The Guest House is here to support you as you start your journey to recovery and healing. Call 855-483-7800 today for more information.