For many of us living with addiction, the source of pain we’re most trying to avoid and escape with our drugs of choice is the pain around not knowing our purpose and not feeling fulfilled in our lives. Our lack of purpose, direction and fulfillment can be extremely depressing for us. It can make us feel afraid of the future and all the uncertainty it holds. It can fill us with a sense of dread. We feel as though we’ve failed ourselves and our loved ones, and let everyone down. We haven’t lived up to our potential. We feel we’ve wasted the many gifts, talents and blessings we were born with. We don’t know what we want to do with our lives or what we have to offer. We want to make a positive difference in the world but don’t know where to begin.
Our confusion around not knowing what our purpose is and not having a clear sense of our direction can add to the desperation we feel in life. We’re already grappling with intense trauma and wounds, painful memories and unresolved issues. On top of all of that, we don’t have a sense of who we are and where we’re headed. This can make us feel increasingly lonely and alone, isolated and estranged from other people. We can feel like we’re spinning our wheels, going through the motions of daily life but never actually going anywhere or accomplishing anything. We feel defeated. We feel the heartbreak and devastation of feeling disconnected from our truth. We give up on ourselves and lose hope. Our self-confidence, our sense of self-worth, our self-esteem and our faith in ourselves can all suffer as a result. We become self-hating, self-rejecting and self-harming.
When we’re in this painful place, sometimes a drug or addictive behavior is what most helps us escape the pain of our disconnection and self-rejection. We don’t want to think about how bad we feel about ourselves for not knowing our purpose, how low, ashamed, inadequate and inferior to other people we feel. Sometimes we would rather get high, zone out and forget our troubles than do the hard work of figuring out who we are and what we want out of life. Not knowing our purpose, but then working to discover it and implement it in our lives, is part of the process of facing ourselves and recovering from our addictions. The more we connect with our inner selves and get clear on our truth and our purpose, the more we strengthen and empower ourselves to recover.
At The Guest House Ocala, we have personal recovery experience and over 12 years in the recovery industry. We have helped countless people recover, and we’re here to help you too. Call 855-483-7800 today for more information.