As we’re working to discover more about our addictions, many of us find that the root cause is our subconscious feelings of self-hatred. We’re often unconscious of just how self-hating we’ve become over the years, even as we’re aware of a great deal of emotional pain. We suffer, but we don’t know that our damaged relationship with our inner selves is at the root of this suffering. The belittling, self-deprecating ways in which we’re speaking to ourselves have become so normal that it’s become background noise. We aren’t paying attention to our self-talk, our sense of self-worth, or our self-image. We simply aren’t mindful of how our self-hate has been impacting our lives.
Addiction is Avoidance
Many of us feel more at ease when we’re under the influence of our drug of choice. The reason for this is that we’re temporarily able to distract ourselves from our insecurities. All the things we hate and reject about ourselves seem to slip away when we’re under the influence. Our addictions become a soothing form of escapism. We’re not looking at why we’ve developed such a deep hatred for ourselves; we’re simply trying to avoid thinking about it. Our mental and emotional energy isn’t spent improving ourselves. Instead, we’re focused on dulling our senses with substances to distract ourselves from the pain. There’s no space for cultivating genuine self-acceptance when we’re simply trying to escape. We think that the person we become when we’re high is a better version of ourselves. In reality, that person is no more than a stage character. It’s an illusion, a façade, a mask we’re putting on to cover up how much we hate ourselves.
Unhealthy Relationships as Escapism
Our addictions are one manifestation of our self-hatred, and our relationships are another. We choose people who don’t value us because we don’t value ourselves. We attract relationships that mirror our own feelings about ourselves. We become dependent on other people because we don’t feel whole, complete, and independent within ourselves. We’re often trying to escape ourselves and the pain of our addictions within the comfort and companionship of relationships. Because we’re not yet in a healthy, self-loving place, these relationships are toxic and unbalanced. This pattern of subjugation and domination adds another layer to our self-harm. As we continue to choose sick relationships, we remain trapped in self-destructive cycles.
At The Guest House, we understand what it’s like to turn pain into self-hatred. Addiction brings out the worst in people, but there’s a way out. Our program focuses on guiding you as you discover the underlying causes of your actions and behaviors, and the outcome of this mission is to reduce and reverse any harm that your self-defeating habits have caused. Call 855-483-7800 today for more information.