Relationships can be traumatizing for different reasons. Trauma is often thought of as the result of something physical. People are physical beings. Being in a romantic relationship with someone is being in a physical relationship with someone. The trauma of a relationship, however, can be emotional, mental, verbal, sexual, neglectful, abandoning, rejecting, and much more. Relationships are bound by the heart which is why the heart breaks when those sacred ties are severed by something traumatic. Even if the relationship didn’t have any kind of trauma within it, the ending of a relationship can be traumatizing in and of itself.
Getting over the traumatic ending of a relationship can be hard to do depending on the dynamics of the relationship, an individual, and an individual’s background. There are some who ‘bounce back’ quickly and move on with resolve. Some bounce back quickly, but carry an exponential amount of baggage from one relationship to the next. Others take time to grieve, then slowly move on. Then there are some who never seem to be able to let go and the very thought of love brings up that trauma all over again, making February and the celebration of Valentine’s Day very difficult. Love is mass marketed, mass commercialized, and overly emphasized which can make the life of someone trying to cope with the traumatic loss of a romantic relationship very challenging. Depression, anxiety, and compulsive self-harming behaviors can become a problem for someone whether or not they are in recovery from trauma.
Valentine’s Survival Guide
First, you have to remember that Valentine’s Day is just one day even though it can feel like much longer due to all the advertising and the merchandising in the store. Second, do some research on the history of Valentine’s Day to educate yourself about the true meaning of the celebration, and how hearts, flowers, chocolates, and cards came to be part of the tradition. Next, take time to list out the many ‘Valentines’ you do have in your life who are not your past partner. Friends, family members, members of your treatment team, peers in recovery, favorite people at the grocery store- there are dozens of individuals we can be thankful for and truly bask in the love from on a daily basis. Lastly you have to find a way to treat yourself to these few truths:
You are a lovable, worthy, deserving individualYou are capable of having healthy, intimate, romantic relationshipsYou are not defined by your past relationshipsYou can find love in romance, friendship, and other areas of your lifeYou are your most valuable relationship and learning to love yourself is key
Instead of coping with sugary sweets, alcoholic beverages, or any other kind of mind altering substances like drugs, turn your attention toward yourself in a positive way this Valentine’s Day. If you find that your unresolved trauma is causing more difficulty in your life than you are equipped to manager, you are not alone. Everyone has a story when they come to treatment. The Guest House Ocala specializes in the treatment of trauma, addictions, and related mental health issues. Our customized care plans and private residence provide you with the comfort, support, and attention you need to heal your heart, mind, body, and spirit. Call us today for information: 1-855-483-7800