When we are in pain as adults living with addiction and mental illness, the source of our pain is often the unmet needs of our wounded inner child. The ways in which we were impacted as children, the traumas we endured and the losses we sustained don’t disappear as we get older. The ramifications of them don’t dissipate just because we’re no longer children. Our inner child’s wounds remain within us, causing us tremendous pain until we figure out what needs to be healed within us. What does our wounded inner child need from us?
What does your pain look and feel like? Does it feel like insecurity, self-rejection and self-hatred? Does it feel like shame you’re unable to forgive? Does it feel like fear of the uncertain future? Exploring our pain and how it’s affecting us can point us in the direction of understanding exactly what our inner child needs from us in order to heal. If we’re consumed by insecurity, our wounded inner child needs to hear from us that she is loved unconditionally, that we accept her, that she is more than good enough just as she is. She needs to hear and feel that we’re not denying her love simply because of her imperfections. If we’re haunted by our shame, our wounded inner child needs us to tell him that he deserves forgiveness, that his mistakes and wrongdoings are not moral failings but vital lessons to teach us how to grow, heal and develop ourselves. If we’re filled with fear of the future, our wounded inner child needs to hear that everything is going to be okay, that she is safe, that we will be there to support, nurture and protect her no matter what may arise.
We’re not accustomed to treating ourselves with kindness, to being nurturing with ourselves, or to work on healing our relationship with our inner selves. We’re used to burying our pain under layers of addictive patterns. We’re used to trying to escape our pain with our drugs of choice. We’re used to running from our internal wounds and resisting them, avoiding them, turning away from them, and refusing to look at them. Our wounded inner child will try to get our attention anyway it can, by triggering us, by constantly bringing up our unhealed pain and unresolved issues, and by perpetuating our unconscious patterns – until we really listen, until we give her the attention and nurturing she needs and deserves.
The caring, compassionate staff of The Guest House is here to support you as you start your journey to recovery and healing. Call 855-483-7800 today for more information.