One of the most difficult emotional experiences we can have when working to recover is feeling like we’ve given up on our sobriety. When we feel defeated, we don’t feel as though we can go on, and we give up hope, both in ourselves and in our ability to get better. We sometimes focus more on our mistakes and the times we’ve relapsed than on the progress we’ve made. We give considerable energy to thinking about the ways in which we’ve let ourselves down along with the people in our lives, rather than remembering the changes we’ve undergone. Rather than focusing on finding solutions, on creating action steps we can take to get well, on discovering ways in which we can make it up to ourselves and our loved ones, we give up altogether. Why do we give up on our sobriety?
For many of us, the answer can lie in our fear. We’re afraid of failing so we give up trying. We’re afraid to believe in ourselves because we’ve disappointed ourselves many times before and know how painful it can be. We’re afraid of the embarrassment and shame of seeking treatment more than once, after multiple failed attempts and debilitating experiences with relapse. We’re afraid of the hard work it takes to recover, so we shy away from it, resist it, and reject it. We procrastinate on doing what we know we need to do for ourselves. We don’t get the help we need or seek out resources and support. We’re often excessively hard on ourselves, judging ourselves for the things we perceive as failures. We assume that if we haven’t pulled ourselves out of our struggles yet, we never will. We give up hope and come to think of ourselves as a lost cause.
Our difficulties in recovery, along with all of our traumatic experiences, really start to weigh on us. We feel burdened and paralyzed by them. We find it hard to move forward when we’re carrying the weight of our wounds, our pain, and our fears. We find it impossible to believe in ourselves when we’re hyper-focused on the old versions of ourselves, the versions of us that hadn’t yet learned valuable spiritual lessons and life skills, the old versions of us that hadn’t made such huge strides in our healing.
Perhaps the solution to our tendency to give up on ourselves and our sobriety is to remind ourselves that every day, in both big and small ways, we’re doing the work. We’re getting better. We’re healing. We’re reconnecting with ourselves and learning how to love ourselves. Even when it doesn’t feel like we’re recovering, we are. We’re always gaining ground and moving forward, even when it feels like we’re stuck or going backward or falling down. All of our difficult emotions, including our feelings of hopelessness, defeat, shame, and disappointment, are part of the healing process. We can take comfort and solace, and find renewed hope and inspiration, in knowing we’re healing even when we don’t feel as though we are, even if at the moment we feel as though we’ve given up on ourselves.
Are you ready to take the first step on your journey to recovery? Call The Guest House today! 855-483-7800.