The people who are the closest to you have suffered with you in your addiction. The emotional impact that addiction leaves behind can create estranged relationships within families. It may not only be difficult for you to learn how to establish trust but also hard for others who are involved to be trusting. You know how far you have come and what you had to do to get to this point. However, they may need time and patience to come around.
This blog post will explore helpful tips for establishing trust with your parents, regaining trust, and allowing The Guest House to assist you in your journey of recovery.
What Does Trusting Myself Have to Do With Trusting Others?
Addiction often leads to feelings like guilt and disappointment, which tend to put a damper on the relationships around you including the one with yourself. You may begin to doubt your decision-making skills, thoughts, beliefs, values, and relationships. During treatment, you focused on yourself and built a new version of yourself. It has been said that if you cannot trust yourself, then who can you trust?
Regaining trust in yourself will take time. You may struggle with self-doubt, but the more you practice the easier it will become. Sometimes it is easier to build self-trust in recovery groups, like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or Narcotics Anonymous (NA). These 12-Step programs offer support and guidance from people who understand the struggle and will support you no matter what phase of your recovery you are in.
Why Is It Important to Establish Trust With My Parents?
The fallout of substance use disorder (SUD) not only affects you but also takes a toll on the people you care about the most. Learning to establish trust again is perhaps the most grueling part of recovery. It is hard to learn new ways to cultivate and establish trust, especially with your parents.
Trust is a fundamental part of each relationship. Building healthy relationships can be compared to building a house. If you are building a house, you need a strong foundation. Otherwise the house will crumble. Think of trust as the foundation of every relationship. Establishing trust with your parents brings a sense of connection and unity. If you desire to rebuild relationships, trust needs to be established with those you care about the most.
Your parents loved you first. No matter what they may say or do, you know that your parents love you and will continue to love you. They can be your biggest support and it is easy to lose sight of that when they have set uncomfortable boundaries or have not always been there for you. Thus it is important to show them a new version of you. Sometimes this can feel frustrating, as you know all the work you have done and no one seems to see it but you. Do not give up! It is in this thought process that the change is cultivated and others begin to see it. You just may have blinders on.
How Do I Start to Establish Trust in Recovery?
It is important to remind you that you do not have to go through this alone. Many groups of people can guide your way. For example, The Guest House offers an alumni program that provides a forum for like-minded people to gather. The worst place to be is feeling alone in starting to establish trust. You are never alone; there are always people out there who can understand. Sometimes you have to trust the process of reconnection and give yourself grace.
Several helpful tips can help you establish trust. For instance, you can:
- Reach out and ask to meet with a person
- Be realistic about the outcome
- Limit your expectations
- Refuse to blame others
- Take responsibility for your actions
- Be honest
- Breathe and journal your feelings
Prepare yourself to face resistance. Sometimes people need more time to establish trust in relationships. Be mindful of other people’s feelings and how they may need to respond. Remember to give them grace and meet them where they are at. To establish trust, it takes time and patience.
Boundaries and Trust: Are They Connected?
To keep you safe, boundaries are a must. However, you cannot create boundaries if you do not trust yourself enough to know what you need. In treatment, you learned about boundaries and what they can look like in recovery. Boundaries create an awareness within yourself about what is acceptable and what is not. This is your recovery and you get to make the rules.
You may be wondering: What do boundaries and trust have to do with each other? What does this have to do with how to establish a relationship with my parents? The answer is simple yet complicated. Boundaries are only about you and no one else. You will never be able to change anyone but you. Trusting yourself enough to create boundaries is an act of self-awareness.
Some questions you may ask yourself:
- Is the relationship salvageable?
- Do you feel safe discussing triggers as you establish trust with your parents?
- Will they respect your space?
- What boundaries need to be reinforced?
This is your recovery and you get to make the rules. If is too hard to establish trust with your parents, a therapist at The Guest House can help you gently approach this topic.
Establish Trust With Your Parents at The Guest House
Establishing trust with your parents can cause stress, worry, anxiety, and even depression. Perhaps you struggle with patience and are frustrated because it is taking so long to earn trust. You have faced many battles in your life and continue to be ready to push through.
However, sometimes you need a break. You’ll find that within our alumni program at The Guest House. Recovery is a journey, not a destination, and we want to guide you on that journey.
Learning new ways to establish trust in relationships is hard work and can be frustrating. You are used to difficult situations and maybe you are tired of those battles. Perhaps you are wanting help but do not know where to turn. Maybe you feel like you should already know what to do but feel lost. Wherever you are in your journey, The Guest House is here to help you along the way. We understand the various hardships that occur in recovery and we have been there ourselves. We have created a safe space of healing and welcome you to give us a call at (855) 483-7800. We will meet you where you are at with empathy and unconditional positive regard.