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How Can I Learn to Accept the Things I Cannot Change?

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.” If you have ever attended a 12-Step program meeting, you may have heard this passage. Have you wondered what exactly about these words brings comfort to so many people? Not accepting things that are beyond your control can pose a problem for many people and can manifest in unhealthy coping skills. When you learn to accept what you can’t change, this can bring a sense of order and peace to your life.

This blog post will delve into how to learn to accept things that are out of your control. Additionally, the blog post will explain what acceptance is and explore how The Guest House can support you in practicing acceptance of yourself and others.

What Does It Mean to Learn to Accept Things?

Finding acceptance in your recovery is one of the hardest things you will do. Sometimes you may reflect on past situations and struggle to understand why you did the things you did. When you reflect on how you can bring greater acceptance to those areas, this doesn’t mean that your choices will no longer have consequences. It simply means you can begin to forgive yourself and others.

Feelings will surface and remind you of the past. Give yourself permission to take time to honor your feelings. Being present with yourself helps you accept your choices. No one said that this life would be easy. What’s more, because you are a human being, you will make bad choices. That does not mean you are a bad person; it means that you are not flawless. You are imperfect, like everyone else.

Permit yourself to feel feelings in the moment and give yourself time to do this. Decide what this would look like for you. Perhaps it’s spending time in your bed, just being present to yourself in a nurturing way.

Why Do I Struggle With Acceptance?

There are many reasons why you may struggle to learn to accept yourself. The world around you can be difficult, as not many people are accepting of themselves. Pay attention to those who you surround yourself with. Notice whether they have learned to accept themselves. Some of the reasons you may struggle with self-acceptance may be that:

  • You were raised in a household that did not teach acceptance.
  • There have been experiences with trauma that prevented you from accepting yourself.
  • You may feel guilt related to past events.
  • Perhaps you were taught to see yourself from a non-accepting point of view.

It is not impossible to learn to accept yourself, however, even if you fall under one of those categories. It may be difficult; however, it is not impossible. Accepting yourself will require work and strategy on your end. The good news is that anything is possible when you put your mind to it.

How Can I Learn to Accept Things I Have No Control Over?

It can be hard to learn to accept the things you have no control over. Many people have a hard time adopting that mindset and moving toward change. To begin, acceptance starts with understanding that you have no control. Then you create awareness of how you feel and meet yourself where you are right now.

Ways that you can learn to accept yourself may include the following:

  • Let go of past choices: You have no control over what happened in the past. Work through those memories and give yourself space to feel. Remember that you are not the same person that you were then.
  • Practice healthy coping skills: Do whatever makes you feel alive. That may include going for a run, coloring, painting, or hiking. Healthy coping skills are there for a reason and it is important to learn to use them. Doing what you love and coping in healthy ways will help you accept things that you cannot change.
  • See an individual therapist: Professional support may be just what you need to get through this time in your life. At The Guest House, we have licensed therapists on staff who can assist you in addressing a variety of needs. We listen with compassion and guide individuals to become their best selves.
  • Practice gratitude: Every day, be mindful of what you are grateful for. This practice will help you to learn to live in a positive mindset.

What Are the Benefits of Learning to Accept Things?

Many positive results come from learning to accept the things that are out of your control. No matter how your mind works, nothing will ever change the fact that life simply is what it is. It does not matter what your specific thought process is or how you think things should be. Acceptance makes life easier to cope with. It also decreases unrealistic expectations you may have. Many of those expectations come from outside of yourself. It’s good to begin to question whether those expectations are legitimate priorities and needs for you.

One of the benefits of learning to accept is that you become happier in general. Finally, you won’t be spending so much time thinking of ways to fix the past and control situations to your liking. You will learn to accept things for what they are, which brings freedom to you.

Secondly, accepting the way things are happening around you can bring you a sense of peace. Therefore you can spend time on things in your life that you care about rather than obsessing about things you cannot change. Lastly, looking at a problem from an objective point of view can help maintain your focus on other things that need your attention. There are many things in life that you do have the power to change.

Learning to accept the things that you cannot change may bring up some unwanted emotions for you. Taking time to explore the areas where you feel out of control can be difficult. However, with acceptance comes greater peace of mind. It feels good to let go of the things that cloud your thinking. At The Guest House, we understand that it is hard to accept the memories and emotions that you wish didn’t exist. We are empathic about your situation and can give you our full attention while you address all aspects of your recovery. If you or someone you know is struggling with acceptance in recovery, please do not hesitate to call us at (855) 483-7800 today.