There are countless different mental and emotional factors that can drive our addictions, many of which we’re unaware of. A common one for many of us is our insecurity and our lack of self-worth. Low self-esteem is something many of us share in common when struggling with addiction. It is often our fears of inadequacy and unworthiness that are fueling our addictive patterns in the first place. We drink, use drugs and have sex in order to distract ourselves from just how bad we feel about ourselves. Our addictions are our form of escapism from the deep sense of self-hatred we feel.
When we are grappling with insecurity, oftentimes our fears originated from traumatic experiences and losses that we have yet to heal from. When we experience a trauma or loss, we internalize it to mean we somehow aren’t good enough. As children, we blamed ourselves for our parents’ divorce, for example, and we took it to mean we were inadequate, unworthy, unlovable and undeserving. When someone we love leaves us, we take the loss personally and deem it to be a sign of our inadequacy. We form deeply rooted insecurity that develops into self-hatred and self-rejection. We reject ourselves and don’t think that we’re good enough or that we measure up to other people. We become competitive, envious and jealous, constantly comparing ourselves to others and feeling depressed when we feel as though we come up short. Our insecurity drives much of what we do, including the relationship choices we make. We choose partners who compound our insecurity because we’re coming from a place of deep self-hatred.
We use our addictions as a way of trying to feel better about ourselves. When we’re high, for the moment we can feel more at ease with ourselves, less uncertain and anxious, more confident and self-assured. We feel a boost in our sense of self-worth, confidence and self-esteem. We feel we can take on the world. We don’t feel weighed down by the heaviness of self-doubt, uneasiness and insecurity. We soon see, though, that the high quickly wears off, and we’re left feeling even worse about ourselves. We have our original insecurity we hadn’t healed from, but then on top of that, we also have the added insecurity and self-hatred we feel from not being able to quit our destructive addictive patterns. We hate ourselves for being addicts, then we want to get high again to escape that horrible feeling of hating ourselves so much, and the cycle continues.
Healing from our addictions means tackling the underlying issues fueling and perpetuating them. For many of us, these issues trace back to our insecurity and damaged sense of self.
The Guest House is a welcoming and supportive recovery home where you will be met with open arms, wherever where you are on your journey, without judgment or expectation. Call 855-483-7800 today for more information.