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Is There Trauma In A Breakup?

Judy Crane, the author of The Trauma Heart defines trauma as any single or series of life events which changes the way we see. Trauma changes how we see ourselves, which therefore changes our sense of self. How we see ourself can largely affect how we see the world around us. If how we see ourselves and how we see the world around us has been changed, we might also be changed in how we see a combination of the two, how we see ourselves in the world around us.

Our trauma can be big or small, severe or seemingly insignificant. When the body and the mind, as well as the spirit, are negatively affected by some kind of trauma event in life, the repercussions are not insignificant. Our inability to cope with the repercussions of life events is what can make us feel like we’ve lived through a trauma. Breaking up a relationship of any kind- romantic, platonic, friendly, familial, or professional, even relationships with patterns, habits, behaviors, or items, can be inherently traumatizing. As human beings, we are creatures of attachment who have a deep need for security as well as safety. Relationships are one of the many ways that we find safety and security in the world. Though some might label it as codependent, relationships are one of the many ways we create meaning for ourselves in our lives- about ourselves individually, as well as about ourselves in relation to the world. A relationship is as much an identity as it is an accessory to an identity- we’re ourselves, to be sure, but we’re also his girlfriend, her granddaughter, their coworker, and so forth. When a relationship ends, whether suddenly, mutually, or overtime, part of our identity is lost. According to Judy Crane’s definition, that affects how we see ourselves and our place in the world, putting trauma into the experience of a breakup. We might experience some levels of abandonment or distance from a feeling of familiarity which also changes how we relate to the world. Overall, when we experience a breakup, we experience a great change. Change is our most secure constant in life, but our biggest threat until we learn to find total radical acceptance that change is inevitable and we will survive whatever changes come our way.

You can walk through your trauma. The Guest House Ocala offers residential treatment programming for trauma, addictions, and related mental health issues. Call us today for information on our customized programs and availability: 1-855-483-7800