Learning to say “no” and still maintain your comfort level is a critical aspect of your recovery and your overall well-being. It can take time to build up the ability to say no for some people. Everyone is on a journey, and yours is unique to you.
Many different scenarios may call upon your ability to say no. You will need to say no to your substance of choice, dangerous environments, and distractions. Being able to say no can even help you manage your time effectively. However, building up your ability to say no with a level of comfort and confidence can be a process. Here are a few suggestions that may help you as you master the ability to say no.
Assess Your Relationships
Assessing your relationships after treatment is imperative. Not every relationship from before treatment should remain in your life after treatment. Assess the health of each relationship. Are they supportive? Do they bring you comfort and positivity?
Saying no can be hard when it is to someone you love, especially if they are placing pressure on you. It is critical to remember that the people you have healthy relationships with will want you to succeed. They will want your recovery to be your priority and for you to maintain your health and well-being.
Enforce Your Boundaries
Establishing and maintaining your boundaries is an integral part of recovery. Boundaries help keep you safe and move through your recovery in a healthy and productive manner. Learning to say no will become easier as you become more comfortable enforcing your boundaries. As your boundaries become a natural part of your life, those around you will know what to expect. If certain people in your life struggle to accept and follow the boundaries you have in place, those relationships may need to be further examined.
Manage Your Triggers
What are your triggers? In treatment, you probably learned about your triggers and began the process of understanding them better. Everyone has unique triggers. Learning and understanding what your triggers are is essential for your recovery. Recovery is a lifelong process of growth and change. Your triggers will change with time. Managing your triggers will help you ensure you do not end up in situations you are not ready for.
Practice and Role-Play
Saying no becomes more manageable with more experience. Practice different scenarios where you anticipate needing to say no. Practice what you would say in various situations. Know your limits and know when you will walk away. Practice role-playing with someone you feel comfortable and safe with. As you practice, you will begin to find comfort and security.
Having a plan in place for risky situations or relationships is essential in ensuring you make the right decisions. It can be challenging to make choices at the moment they occur, especially if you are feeling pressured. Practicing will help you already know what to say and how to react without much thought.
Stay Connected to Support
Staying connected to a support system throughout recovery is something that most people need. Your support may include family or friends. These are the people that know you best. They will be the people that help you to stay accountable. They may also be the ones that help you to say no in the moment. Your support system should also include a mental health professional or recovery group.
Often people feel like, after treatment, they should not need support and should be able to handle every situation on their own. That is simply not the case. Maintaining supper is critical. Just as you grow, your recovery grows as well. You do not need to face daily challenges alone.
Eliminate Guilt
Sometimes with saying no comes guilt. You may feel that you need to help your loved ones because they have supported and loved you through your addiction and recovery. However, you must place your mental health first. If you are busy, overextending yourself can be dangerous for your sobriety. Learning to be able to offer assistance in the future when you have more time is a perfect option. Your loved ones will understand. They will not want to cause you stress or overwhelm you. Talk openly and honestly about how you are feeling.
Think of Your Goals
Focus on your goals. As you focus on your goals and what you want to achieve, you eventually will not struggle to say no to things that do not benefit you or your health. Create manageable steps to work towards your goals. Consider establishing rewards for the journey towards those goals and let your support system cheer you on.