Strong Attachments in Toxic Relationships
Trauma bonds are the strong attachments we form because of shared trauma, often in toxic and abusive relationships where we are experiencing, witnessing and contributing to the traumatic dynamics between us. When we’re in deeply unhealthy relationships, many of us sustain recurring cycles of trauma and repeating patterns of mistreatment. Our instincts for self-protection are very often compromised because of this trauma. We’re not instinctively self-nurturing, self-caring or self-protective. We’re subconsciously very self-destructive and self-harming, and this comes out in the kinds of bonds we form in our relationships. Our trauma can cause us to form strong attachments as part of our toxic relationships.
Shared Experiences with Trauma
Many of us feel intensely bonded to another person because of the trauma we’ve endured together. We convince ourselves that our love is strong because we’ve survived so much together. We tell ourselves we need this other person, and we come to rely on them. Many of our relationships are codependent, and we feel as though we can’t survive without the other person or the attachment we share. Many of us have been creating trauma bonds for much of our lives, having lived through some of our worst traumatic experiences when we were young. These experiences inform how we live the rest of our lives and how we operate within relationships. Subconsciously we believe we need these strong attachments, even the unhealthy ones, in order to keep ourselves safe. We believe we need them in order to be lovable, worthy and deserving. We don’t feel whole or complete without them. Very often we’re not conscious yet that the strong bonds we feel are the result of trauma. We just think they are the attachments we need in order to survive.
Identifying and Healing Our Trauma Bonds
One of the most important steps in healing from these trauma bonds is becoming conscious of them. Which of our relationships are healthy, nurturing and mutually supportive, and which are the result of unhealthy trauma bonding? Which relationships are we holding onto tightly, desperately afraid that we’ll lose them? Who are we attached to because of trauma? Once we’ve identified which relationships are problematic for us, we want to reprogram our subconscious minds to create new truths for ourselves that will help us to function differently in our relationships. We want to affirm to ourselves that we are strong, powerful and capable of healthy independence. We are capable of standing strong, on our own, and healing from our trauma in healthy ways that serve us. We can use therapy, journaling, creative self-expression, and energy healing practices to help us find groundedness, stability and centeredness. We can actively search within ourselves to examine the origins of our trauma, and listen to our inner selves as they direct us down the path of healing.
At The Guest House Ocala, we are uniquely equipped to help our guests heal from trauma-induced substance abuse, process addiction, anxiety and depression in a safe, comfortable and confidential setting.
Call 855-483-7800 today for more information on our treatment programs.
theguesthouseocala.com
3230 Northeast 55th Avenue Silver Springs, FL 34488