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How Can Trauma Affect Our Relationships?

As we’re working to recover from our addictions and mental health issues, our relationships can be one of the things that most blocks our healing and that keeps us from becoming the happiest, healthiest versions of ourselves that we’re capable of being. Our unhealthy relationships often have a lot to do with our past trauma, and for many of us, our deepest sources of trauma are the violent and abusive things we witnessed or experienced when growing up. Many of us continue to be affected by our childhood traumatic experiences, even well into our adulthood, and our relationships can be severely impacted as a result. The effects of our trauma on our relationships can become the blocks to our healing that we then have to work to dismantle in order to heal ourselves.

Ongoing Relationship Patterns

One of the major responses we have to our trauma is our disassociation from it, meaning we disconnect from it, refuse to acknowledge it, and as a result aren’t able to heal from it. When we’ve disassociated from our trauma, we also often don’t associate the violence we’ve experienced in the past, such as childhood abuse, with the abuse in our current relationships. In other words, we don’t see the connection between the violence we experienced or witnessed in our younger years and the violence we’re now living with in the form of abusive relationships. Our past traumatic experiences can make us tolerant of abuse because we’ve disassociated from our trauma so much so that violence becomes normalized and desensitized for us. We perpetuate the relationship and family patterns of trauma, abuse and violence that were modeled for us in our formative years.

Violent and Self-Destructive Instincts

The violence we experienced early on can create violent instincts in us as adults, making us abusive in our relationships and violent in our daily lives. Many of us don’t see the need for us to get help for our violent and abusive tendencies because subconsciously we’ve come to associate love with pain. Similarly, we stay in relationships that are abusive, toxic and even dangerous, because our trauma has convinced us that violence is normal, that we deserve to be abused, that we’re unworthy and inadequate, and that we’re undeserving of love. We’ve developed subconscious instincts for self-destructiveness and self-harm. We equate a loving relationship with an abusive one, even when consciously we know how harmful violence can be, even when we know how much pain we’re in. We don’t get the help we need to stop ourselves from being violent or to extricate ourselves from the relationships that are inflicting pain on us, often because we’re still being driven to self-destruct and hurt others because of our unhealed trauma.

The Guest House is a welcoming and supportive recovery home where you will be met with open arms, wherever you are on your journey, without judgment.

Call 855-483-7800 today for more information.

3230 Northeast 55th Avenue Silver Springs, FL 34488