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Is My Therapist Right for Me?

Therapy can make you extremely uncomfortable at first, especially if you have trust issues. Your mental state could fluctuate from session to session. Over time, you should become more comfortable opening up to your therapist. You may never feel entirely at ease, though.

10 Signs of a Good Therapy Match

This list, heavily influenced by the Psychotherapy (Chicago, Ill.) journal issue titled “Psychotherapy Relationships that Work III,” can help determine whether your therapy match benefits you. Here are ten signs you are in a good therapy match:

#1. Your symptoms are improving over time.

#2. You are learning skills directed towards your needs.

#3. You established therapy goals, and you are moving toward them.

#4. They challenge you rather than simply agreeing with everything you say.

#5. They are competent in your intersecting identities (i.e., gender, sexuality, socioeconomic status, race, ability level).

#6. You feel valued and respected; you are treated as an equal.

#7. They validate your emotions and experiences.

#8. They care about earning your trust.

#9. They empower you to take a leading role in your treatment.

#10. You can talk to your therapist about your questions and doubts.

If most of these apply to you, you should feel confident in your therapeutic match. Your therapist will likely help you along your healing journey. If this list did not reassure you, your therapist and you may not be a good fit. That is okay. Not every therapist will be right for you.

How to “Break Up” With Your Therapist

If you discover that you do not match well with your therapist, it is okay to end the therapeutic relationship. You are not obligated to stay with a therapist that is not the right fit for you. You should not ghost them, though. If you discontinue therapy without notice or communication, it can cause problems. They will have to do paperwork making a record of this, and you might get a welfare check to ensure your safety.

Instead of disappearing, here are some steps you can take to end the therapeutic relationship:

  • Before you have the conversation, plan out what you are going to say.
  • Come up with a concise explanation as to why you are ending treatment.
  • Decide if you will ask them for a referral to someone else or if you will seek a new therapist on your own.
  • Do something to calm yourself right before the session.

The conversation likely will not be as difficult as you are expecting. Therapists should respond well to getting feedback.

A good therapeutic relationship can allow individuals with mental illnesses to grow and heal from maladaptive behaviors. It empowers people to develop new, healthier patterns. If you’re looking to find a qualified therapist to work with, The Guest House offers individual therapy as an outpatient service. Our therapists focus on trauma-specific talk therapy and one-on-one psychotherapy. We believe our therapists will provide you with the best care available. If you’re interested in starting outpatient treatment at The Guest House, please call us at (855) 483-7800.