Self-abandonment is the act of neglecting ourselves and our well-being, of turning our backs on ourselves, of hating and rejecting ourselves. Many of us have grown so accustomed to abandoning ourselves that we don’t realize we’re doing it. We think that the ways in which we’re treating ourselves are normal, acceptable, and even healthy. We don’t address how we’re speaking to ourselves internally, and how we’re speaking about ourselves to other people. We don’t look at how self-deprecating our self-talk is, and how wounded our self-perception has become. We’ve created our self-image from our feelings of inadequacy and self-hate. Why do we self-abandon, and how can we stop?
Past Traumatic Experiences
Many of us become self-abandoning because we’ve experienced some form of abandonment in the past. We might have been traumatized when our parents got divorced. A parent might have abandoned the family. A partner that was important to us might have left us. We take other people’s abandonment to mean we must have deserved to be abandoned. We come to believe we’re inherently unworthy. We tell ourselves we’re not good enough, and that our inadequacy is the reason behind why people have stopped loving us. We feel insecure and self-hating because of our traumatic experiences. Incidents of separation, loss, and abandonment can be particularly painful for us. When we internalize these events and allow them to impact how we view ourselves, we often start to treat ourselves in very self-destructive ways. We neglect our health. We use our drugs of choice as a form of emotional escape. We have unhealthy relationships. We abandon our sense of self-love and our commitment to ourselves.
Mindfulness and Connection
How can we stop abandoning ourselves? The first step is to become mindful of when and how we’re demonstrating these patterns of self-abandonment. Take more notice of how you think and speak about yourself, how you treat yourself, and how you function in your life. Are you self-loving, or self-hating? Are you self-empowering, or self-destructive? Do you believe in yourself, or have you given up on yourself? Asking ourselves these tough questions can open ourselves up to begin the healing process. Turn inwards and face yourself. Connect with yourself. Sit with your emotions. Learn to embrace solitude and to enjoy your own company. Practice being self-loving and self-nurturing with yourself, in your thoughts, words, and actions. The more we commit to caring for ourselves, the better able we become to stop our patterns of self-abandonment.
The Guest House is a welcoming and supportive recovery home where you will be met with open arms, wherever you are on your journey, without judgment or expectation.
Call 855-823-5463 today for more information.