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How To Be The Best Parent To Yourself: Part Three

Children operate on two levels: their needs and their desires. From the minute we are conceived we have needs. We need to be fed, we need to be hydrated, and we need to be loved. Tragically, many of our trauma stories start in the womb. Our mothers may have drank or done drugs, eaten unhealthily, been beaten or abused, or screamed at us even when we were the size of a pea. Once we are born, our needs stay the same, but our desires start to grow based on our unique personalities, our life circumstances, and the special wonders of our precious little hearts.

Part of our trauma therapy for becoming our best parent and healing our inner child is to make a list of all of our childhood needs as well as our childhood desires. Together with our trauma therapist, we will create a plan for living in a way which meets our deepest needs and also grants some of our greatest desires.

Make A List Of All Your Childhood Needs

Food, water, shelter, support, unconditional love. These are our most basic needs as children. All of the things like toys, trips to Disneyworld, a pony, and the best birthday parties on the block are our childhood desires. Our needs are simple as children- children don’t actually require a lot. Sadly, many of us never received the love we needed from our parents. Working with your trauma therapist, make a list of all your childhood needs from your specific memories. Did you need your Mom to be home more often? Did you need your Dad to not be so hard on you about your Math grades? Did you need food on the table, a better source of income, or less abusive men coming in and out of the house? Diving into the memories of not having our needs met is emotionally taxing and can be very triggering. Your therapist will help you process whatever comes up for you, heal it, and create ways to help yourself meet those needs on your own moving forward. It’s a magical and mind-expanding process.

Make A List Of All Your Childhood Desires

Childhood desires are those little dreams and wishes that excite us so deeply we practically vibrate with joy. Something so simple as a balloon at the fair can be the manifestation of our deepest desires. As adults who are growing through trauma recovery, we have the chance to grant our “little girls” and “little boys” all of their desires. However, since we are now our best parents, we have to discern what is a healthy desire and what is an unhealthy desire. Vulnerably and gleefully, we talk about all of our wishes and how we can grant them to ourselves in healthy ways. This will eventually become part of our self-care routine.

Everyone’s story starts before treatment. Everyone’s story changes the minute they arrive to treatment. The Guest House Ocala offers residential programming for trauma, addictions, and related mental health issues, customized to meet your unique needs. Call us today for information on life at the estate: 1-855-483-7800