Most people are all too familiar with how anger feels. During recovery, this is an emotion that surfaces repeatedly. It is easy to get caught up in a negative anger cycle and make choices driven by anger. In recovery, anger can be directed at yourself, law enforcement, or society. However, anger does not always have to be a negative feeling; there is such a thing as healthy anger. How healthy your anger is depends on how the emotion manifests and what you do with it.
This article will discuss the differences between healthy and unhealthy anger, offer healthy coping skills for working through anger, and share resources that The Guest House has to offer, no matter what the anger trigger is.
Where Does Anger Come From?
Often, when the emotion of anger is mentioned, people shy away from addressing it entirely. Anger tends to be a topic that immediately makes people uncomfortable and even defensive. Anger has a negative reputation compared to emotions like happiness and sadness. Perhaps the lack of respect for anger comes from the negative outcomes anger often brings.
However, anger is not just a negative emotion that creates violence and destruction. Anger conveys an important message. The U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) explains that “high levels of anger are related to a natural survival instinct.” In other words, anger tells a story of how your environment affects you.
The root cause of anger can be unresolved issues that you carry with you from the past. For example, you may have experienced a rejection letter from the college you wanted to go to. Instead of processing your emotions, you may have acted like it wasn’t a big deal. Still, that sense of rejection has festered, alongside the feeling that you are not good enough. Lo and behold, anger has taken hold.
What Is Healthy Anger?
It can be relatively surprising to learn that there is such a thing as healthy anger. The words “healthy” and “anger” don’t seem like they go together. Yet, healthy anger revolves around expressing your emotions with assertiveness and finding rational ways to communicate your feelings. When you allow yourself to voice disagreement with unjust situations, you are expressing healthy anger.
Healthy anger tends to be goal-oriented, arising to signal that action needs to be taken. When you can express yourself and not hold feelings in, anger can be short-lived. You will be able to tell the difference between unhealthy and healthy anger because you will feel at rest when healthy anger is present.
When you express healthy anger, you do not keep your mind racing as you reminisce about all the things that you could have said. Instead, using anger in a healthy way gives you a sense of peace. You can utilize a healthy communication style to explore your emotions calmly without upsetting those around you.
How Can I Practice Healthy Anger in Recovery?
Experiencing anger does not necessarily create pain. It is the actions around the anger that cause negative reactions. As you learn how to express yourself in a healthy way, anger can be a productive emotion and learning tool. You can learn to express yourself more appropriately. Some strategies for doing so are as follows:
- Identify the root cause of your anger. Ask yourself, “What is the root of why I am angry?” As mentioned above, anger is not a bad emotion; it is how you handle the anger and the actions behind it. Identifying the underlying issue means you can address the problem head-on.
- Journal your thoughts and feelings. Sometimes you will not be able to talk through your emotions, and maybe you would rather express yourself on paper. You are free to write, draw, paint, color, or do whatever you desire while privately processing your emotions.
- Engage in therapy at The Guest House. Just imagine being able to tell someone anything that you want without them telling anyone else. An individual therapist will meet you where you are at with unconditional positive regard. A trained counselor can guide you to explore the root of your anger and help you to engage in healthy anger.
- Learn to practice forgiveness. Sometimes unhealthy anger results from holding onto grudges and unrealistic expectations. Forgiveness doesn’t have anything to do with the other person. Rather, it’s about setting yourself free from the pain, pressure, and turmoil anger brings.
Learning About Healthy Anger at The Guest House
There is nothing wrong with the emotion of anger. After all, it is a basic emotion that everyone experiences. What makes anger difficult is how anger is expressed. At The Guest House, we believe in the “come as you are” approach to recovery. Understandably, all kinds of emotions will surface periodically. Exploring the root causes of those emotions will allow for you to experience healthy anger and relinquish unrealistic expectations. Join us at The Guest House to go on a journey of healthy anger in recovery.
Anger is a common emotion that arises for everyone. However, not everyone expresses it in a healthy way. Expressing how you feel can be difficult. Yet, learning how to respect anger and act appropriately on it can lead to healthy anger. Understanding the reasons you are feeling the way that you do can help you explore how to overcome those emotions and find peace. Emotions are not bad; it is how you act on them that can lead to unwanted consequences. If you or someone you know is struggling with processing anger in recovery, please do not hesitate to give us a call at (855) 483-7800. We are eager to help you in your journey of recovery.