Perfectionism can be a curse and a blessing at the same time. It can establish unhealthy expectations, but also it can encourage individuals to challenge themselves. Individuals who struggle with perfectionism are frequently more competitive. While perfectionists may engage in fulfilling personal relationships, perfectionists tend to strive to be perfect in anything and everything they do; this trait can negatively impact personal relationships. How do you know if your perfectionism hurts relationships rather than making them more meaningful?
A Perfect Relationship
Our society encourages us to find the “perfect” relationship. Movies and books portray idealized relationships, but when it comes to real life, relationships are not the way they are represented in the media. Some people believe that a perfect relationship without conflict provides a magical, fantastical, wondrous experience; this relationship doesn’t exist in real life, and it is not true. In reality, conflict is a part of any relationship and, if used correctly, can help build stronger relationships.
Perfectionists may strive for a relationship like they see in movies, and when real life enters the relationship, it will end. Nothing in life is ever perfect, and the idea of a perfect relationship can negatively affect how a relationship progresses. Fortunately, individuals prone to perfectionism can learn to temper their expectations with more awareness and understanding of the elements of a real relationship. However, it takes work; real relationships require us to accept people as they are and learn to work through conflicts.
Your partner may not be like everything about you or always situations the same way you do; therefore, perfect relationships are unattainable and unreal. However, when you strive to understand your concept of yourself, understand how your partner responds and reacts, and address your expectations, you can set yourself up for a happier relationship.
The Truth of Realistic Relationships
If you are a perfectionist, you may have unrealistic expectations of relationships. This can affect your state of mind and your partner’s. It can also damage relationships and may cause the relationship to end. The truth of genuine relationships is that they require work and compromise. If you are a perfectionist, deciding to compromise and overcome the perfectionists’ mindset in a relationship can be a blessing in disguise.
If you find it challenging to overcome a perfectionist’s perception of relationships and connect with your actual needs, remind yourself of realistic relationship expectations. Work towards transparency and honesty. A relationship based on truth can sometimes hurt; however, the truth needs to be heard to develop a stronger relationship.
When thinking about a relationship, remember that your mindset and values are different than those of others. However, if you struggle with your relationship and moving it in a positive direction, or if you’re wondering if your perfectionism is affecting your relationship, reach out to The Guest House. We are here to help you understand the effects that perfectionism can have on relationships and self-growth. For more information about healthy relationships and the role of relationships in recovery, call The Guest House at (855) 483-7800.