Asking for help makes many people feel uncomfortable for a variety of reasons. For one, asking for help involves handing over a bit of control, which generally scares people. Some people don’t ask for help because they think they will sound needy, and nobody wants to appear needy or not competent. Some people may fear rejection if they ask for help. If someone experienced trauma as a child, they might have learned that they can’t trust anyone or that no one will be there to help them; thus, asking for help is pointless. However, asking for help in recovery is essential.
Learning to Ask for Help
Asking for help at first can be difficult, but, as with any new skill, it simply takes practice. Once you get used to asking for help, it becomes easier and easier and begins to feel more natural. To begin, start asking for help with small requests. Once that feels comfortable, make your “asks” a bit bigger. Then, instead of simply asking for help, turn your request for help into a conversation that allows you to connect with the other person and work on solutions together.
Why Is It Important to Ask for Help?
We need to be able to ask for help for a variety of reasons. Not asking for help can make healing from mental health issues and substance use disorder (SUD) much more difficult. Even the decision to go to therapy can seem frightening. We need to ask for help to get the support we need to heal fully. Without being able to communicate and ask for help, the road to recovery is long, hard, and lonely.
In addition, asking for help can strengthen our bonds with other people. When we ask someone for help, we open ourselves up to another person who, in turn, might feel comfortable asking for help.
Asking for Help Non-Verbally
Asking for help when you are in treatment or in early recovery from substance abuse can be challenging. If asking for help verbally is too overwhelming, there are other ways to ask. Sometimes sharing words without your voice is easier. Instead of verbally asking someone for help, you could send them an email, a text, or even a card or a letter. Communicating without your voice can seem less intimidating and can ease you into feeling comfortable with sharing and asking.
It is tough to give up even a little control over things and ask for help. Asking for help is extremely hard to do for most people. Nobody wants to be seen as needy and unable to handle their problems. Sometimes you can’t identify why you feel like you can’t ask for help. Successful recovery requires us to develop new ways of doing things. Here at The Guest House, we are ready to help you learn how to ask for help and communicate fully with the people in your life. Call us today at (855) 483-7800.