Our experiences with addiction and mental illness often bring with them tumultuous relationships full of toxicity, conflict and turmoil. We have unhealthy and abusive relationships, often with other addicts. The ways in which we’ve been hurt can cause us to totally lose our ability to trust people. We’re wary of confiding in people. We don’t open up to people anymore, as we might have felt comfortable doing in the past. We put up a wall around our hearts, thinking we’re protecting ourselves from being hurt more, from being judged, from being abandoned and rejected. Our trust issues extend beyond our romantic partnerships and can affect our friendships and the relationships we’re trying to foster while in recovery. When we don’t feel as though we can trust the people around us, even those professionally tasked with helping us to recover, we often close ourselves off to healing. When we can’t let other people in, when we can’t connect with other people, very often we’re not connecting with ourselves. We’re suppressing painful emotions and memories. We’re avoiding certain things within ourselves. Our inability to trust extends to ourselves – we don’t feel as though we can trust ourselves not to hurt ourselves more than we already have. Our addictions are, after all, a form of self-destructiveness.
We can learn to trust ourselves and others again, over time, by telling ourselves that vulnerability is not actually a weakness but a strength. Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable with other people takes tremendous courage. We should be proud of ourselves every time we let someone in even a little, every time we share our story during a support group meeting, every time we get honest with our therapist. When we take the chance to form a friendship, we’re helping ourselves recover. When we reconnect with an old friend, rebuild broken relationships, or make amends, we’re showing vulnerability and humility that are signs of our strength and our courage. Being able to trust ourselves and other people means we have faith in ourselves. It means we believe in ourselves enough to know that we will be fine no matter what, no matter who betrays our trust or lets us down or proves themselves untrustworthy. When we open ourselves to learning how to trust again, we become stronger than our fears, and we empower ourselves in our recovery.
The Guest House is a welcoming and supportive recovery home where you will be met with open arms, wherever where you are on your journey, without judgment or expectation. Call 855-483-7800 today for more information.