As a parent, you will naturally worry about your children. It’s common to think about when your children will leave home and embrace adulthood. You may even worry about whether they will be okay on their own.
During childhood, the dynamic of your relationship with your children is strictly parent-child. However, when your child becomes an adult, it’s time to shift away from the parent-child dynamic. Nevertheless, making the shift isn’t always easy. You or your child may not be ready to move into the next phase of your relationship: the adult-adult stage. However, being open to that change will give your child the independence they need and help you set healthy boundaries.
Boundary Setting
Setting boundaries with your adult children may take time. A part of the change in your roles includes your child understanding you will not always be available to them. You can remain the parent who is there for them, but instead of fixing things, you have to let your adult child handle their responsibilities. This can be difficult, especially if they require money or advice. However, it is sometimes best to resist the urge to jump in and help. Instead, listen to them and encourage them to find their solutions.
The Importance of Setting Boundaries With Children
Sometimes, boundary setting can make you feel guilty. For example, you may feel guilty if you choose to spend time with your friends instead of babysitting your grandchildren. However, your needs are also essential. Socializing with your peers and fulfilling your own needs is necessary to your mental well-being. When you don’t set boundaries, your child may expect you always to be willing and available, regardless of your wants or needs. Setting boundaries can seem like you’re always saying “no,” but limitations are important for everyone.
Moving Forward
Although setting boundaries with your adult children is essential, it can cause resentment or hurt feelings. Hopefully, your child is okay with your limitations; but if they’re not, try to remain firm. Let them talk civilly to you about their feelings, but remind yourself why you set up the boundaries. By setting boundaries, both you and your child can find healthy ways to maintain the adult-adult relationship.
Setting boundaries with your adult children can improve your relationship. As a parent, you want your child to be independent. Shifting from a parent-child relationship to an adult-adult relationship is vital. However, without clear boundaries and an adult relationship, you can unwittingly enable your child. The Guest House can guide you to understanding the underlying issue that prevents you from making the necessary shift. We will help you discover your strength as a parent and friend. You can find out more about our services by calling (855) 483-7800.