Ordinarily we tend to think of our flaws and imperfections as things we should be ashamed of, as deficiencies in our character, as evidence of our unworthiness and inadequacy. We see them as moral failings, as reasons to hate ourselves. We reject the parts of ourselves that we think aren’t good enough. We become self-deprecating, self-sabotaging and self-destructive. We turn away from ourselves rather than turning toward ourselves with compassion, love and light. We obsess about our insecurities and allow them to become how we define ourselves. We base our self-identification around our flaws rather than our strengths. We dwell on our mistakes rather than our successes. How can we learn to embrace our flaws instead of hating and rejecting them?
Our flaws, our mistakes, our regrets, our perceived imperfections and shortcomings are all invitations to practice unconditional self-love and self-acceptance. They are calling us to treat ourselves with patience as we work to develop ourselves and make important changes in our lives. When we embrace our flaws, we’re not saying we’ll be complacent in our healing and personal development. We’re not saying we’ll give up trying to improve upon ourselves, to grow and expand ourselves – quite the contrary. We’re telling ourselves that we will give ourselves love as we work to heal and become our best, happiest selves. We’ll nurture ourselves rather than rejecting ourselves. We’ll focus on our strengths to help us overcome our weaknesses. We’ll validate and affirm ourselves instead of constantly putting ourselves down. We’ll work with ourselves rather than against ourselves.
Let’s take inventory of all the flaws we think make us inadequate. What are they, and why do we feel so bad about them? What are the mental and emotional origins of our self-deprecation and self-rejection? Why did we develop the self-hating ways in which we think about ourselves and treat ourselves? Did they stem from our traumatic experiences? Did a loved one constantly tell us we weren’t good enough as we were growing up? Did we blame ourselves for the painful things we went through?
When we have a healthy sense of self, our perceived flaws are things we can work on, things we can explore and improve upon with patience, understanding and love. They’re not reasons to hate ourselves and inundate ourselves with shame. They’re not reasons to be unable to forgive ourselves and move forward. Healing ourselves means learning to embrace our flaws for what they can teach us about ourselves, for how they can propel us forward, for how they can guide us in becoming the most whole and authentic versions of ourselves we can possibly be.
At The Guest House Ocala, our recovery programs include many experiential modalities including traditional therapy, conscious connected breathwork, equine therapy, somatic experiencing, art in healing, grief therapy, mindfulness and other forms of therapy. Call 855-483-7800 today for more information.