We can find about a million metaphors, movie quotes, book passages, and other cultural quips online to tell us about that beautiful moment when we settle into our own skin and feel confident. Women have said that confidence is the sexiest outfit we own. Self-help leaders have said confidence is what can help us succeed. There’s a million and one ways to describe the feeling of confidence. In more modern millennial terms, it could be described as “feeling yourself” without issue.
Those of us in recovery from varying issues stemming from trauma know that feeling ourselves without issue can seem like a pipe dream. We’ve grown accustomed to perpetual discomfort with at least some part of ourselves, whether that be internal or external. Often, our discomfort comes from an extreme dislike. Confidence in ourselves is often dwindled by the many decisions we make out of low feelings of self-esteem and self-worth, which cause us to like ourselves less.
Many a recovering addict, alcoholic, or trauma survivor can recount a moment of feeling a deep resentment toward the self. For those of us who find recovery, we can also recount a moment when that resentment is lifted. Coming to self-like, let alone self-love, takes time and a lot of hard work. One day, however, we do find ourselves coming to like ourselves, even love ourselves, and start feeling ourselves confidently.
Confidence isn’t defined in any one particular moment by way of its generation. Meaning, we probably cannot pinpoint the exact moment in space and time when we suddenly become confident. More often, our confidence comes as a surprise. We act in a way we didn’t expect, we hear someone pay us a compliment that feels brand new, and when we take that quick second to wonder, “What’s going on here?” the answer doesn’t take long: we’ve found the stability to stand in our own shoes and walk our own path in life. Since so many of us are used to “the other shoe dropping” or having something internal to us, like our confidence, taken away by the behaviors and actions of ourselves or others, we can find ourselves in doubt. Instantaneously we can feel as though we’re doing something wrong by being confident.
More on that in our next blog.
You can walk through your trauma. The Guest House Ocala offers residential treatment programming for trauma, addictions, and related mental health issues. Call us today for information on our customized programs and availability: 1-855-483-7800